Just a thought!

The Return

2012-02-04T03:02:00.001-05:00

What better time to write than at 2 am? Another night of being awakened by yet another vision forever etched in the hidden corners of my subconscious. My body longs for sleep while my mind goes through every thought and memory trying to make sense of the madness. The silence tonight is deafening. The loneliness, crippling.

Is this life? Is this living? Is there more out there?

Our lives become a blur. Things going by us a million miles an hour as we miss out on the things that matter. When was the last time you went outside and just looked up on a clear dark night? Just took a deep breath in of the cool crisp air? When was the last time you took note of the sun casting an array of orange and pink hues on the clouds as it is tucked in for the night. When was the last time you let yourself get lost in conversation?

Visit those things that stir your affections to live again. Visit them often. Daily. Loose yourself in them. Enjoy the beauty of life. Look up at the stars, enjoy the cool breeze. Talk about the things in life that should really matter.

"Words are THE Voice of the Heart" Confucius

2010-09-28T22:45:00.005-04:00

I was always told think before I spoke. Words I heard far too often but ignored most of the time. This is probably some of the most damaging advice we give. We are saying think about what you are going to say and if it is hateful or damaging, don't say it or lie! The problem isn't when the words exit our mouth but the condition of our hearts. The thinking before I spoke, those thoughts were the issue. Confucius said "Words are the voice of the heart"; how ugly is my heart?

Sure, I forgot to think and it slipped out is a great excuse to hurt someone. I just said what came to mind, I never really thought about it. What about the things that we don't say because we thought about it? What about the damage they do? THose thoughts rather ever made audible reflect the condition of our heart. What happens when they are verbalized? Can we ever really take them back? Maybe but have the thoughts gone? Or do the thoughts remain just being pushed further into our subconscious way of going about life?

Our words are a mere voice for our hearts. Our thoughts are nothing more than words waiting to be verbalized. Don't apologize for what you say but for the condition of our hearts.

3rd & Goal

2010-09-26T22:02:00.003-04:00

Every time I turned on the TV this weekend it ended up on football. Saw bits and pieces of some really good games. Saw Boise State play on their famous blue turf, watched the Giants crumble under pressure, and my favorite watched Steve Spurrier get out coached. I don't have a team I follow regularly. I prefer just a good game. There are a few individuals I route for but that is more because of their off the field actions than on. I do enjoy coaching from the couch. It seems so easy as I sit there to call the right plays. Of course, I do not have the pressure, noise, or my job on the line. It is easy for me to say be aggressive or fake a kick when it is not my neck on the chopping block.

That is the way life is though. We have a coach who seems to be making the calls and a crowd of coaches sitting on the couch calling out plays from the safety of their seat. It is easy for them to call in a play where if it fails they have nothing to lose. It is easy to criticize when you have nothing at risk. If you fail from the couch you have nothing to lose, not even your seat. Maybe if you have the ultimate "play" you shouldn't be sitting on the couch. Strap on the gear and go make a call.

The coach has to take the responsibility of the outcome, win or lose. The coach can't pass the blame. A good team though helps shoulder the blame. A good team keeps the coach in check not allowing him to believe he earned that win single handed. Nor does the team let him believe he lost the game single handily. They shoulder the blame together. We win or lose as a team.

How many good pastors have been out coached from the sidelines? How many pastors didn't have a team to have their back? How many pastors never heard good play? How many pastors called the play as the church sat in the pews? How many pastors had no team?

Who Dat Nation!

2010-09-09T22:23:00.006-04:00

Believe it or not this post has very little to do with the Saints that play football. Just happen to be watching the game and felt inspired. I normally don't take the time to watch many games but since i was able to hold a Super Bowl ring from last years game I thought I would watch for a few minutes. If I were to be totally transparent i started to watch the game tonight looking for a client I work for that is on the coaching staff of the Saints.

At the beginning of the game both teams came out in a sign of solidarity and showed they were unified for a cause. Two teams with a lot to prove tonight showed they were all going to work together as one to accomplish their goal. I do not agree with their goal and believe it shows the desperate lostness of America but I do admire their unity.

What if the "church" could be equally united for the kingdom? What would this look like? If a lost world sees the need for unity why do we continue to be at odds? Yes we say we all want to see kingdom growth but do our actions show it? Both teams walked out on the field and all held up a single finger saying we are one, we are unified. The 2011 season will come and if there is not an agreement they will, as one, go on strike. They move forward together-this is not because they all agree on every issue but because they (in their opinion) want whats best for the group. Some will have to bite their tongues, some may sacrifice time and money but the goal is to do what is best for the entire unified body.

I don't know what this would look like in a church but I am positive it would not look like a local church body with ministries competing for recognition. It would not have members of the church body trying to place their personal needs in front of another's needs. It would not consist of us spending our time trying to destroy someone to make ourselves more popular. Instead of attacking each other we would murder the sin that we so easily are tangled in. My God why are we so shallow and selfish?

I have heard it said that the greatest obstacle for kingdom growth isn't atheism, Islam, Buddhist but Christians themselves. The world sees how they treat each other and want no part of it.

Next time before we compete, gossip, back stab, slander, cheat, lie picture ourselves between the cross and a lost brother walking toward the cross. Can you handle him looking at you and walking away? It is the Jesus he sees in you that he is rejecting, not the cross.

Follow the Leader.

2010-08-20T00:01:00.004-04:00

I remember as a kid playing follow the leader and really enjoying the game. It was fun because the leader always made you do stupid stuff as you marched around the playground. I used to love to try to become the leader. I wanted my turn to make everyone jump when I jumped, make everyone run when I ran, crawl when I crawled. We never really stop playing the game though. In High School we follow the leader, rather it is the star athlete or the musician playing to sold out arenas we chase the leader. As adults we look for the "successful" business person or the best dressed soccer mom to lead us. We even tend to do this in "church-life". We look to the mega church and try to follow their lead. We tend to find a model we like and copy it expecting the same results as the leader was getting. Why do we play these games as children? We look back on them and realize just how ridiculous they are. I remember one time in particular playing follow the leader and being the leader with about 15 people and getting quite and unexpected result. I remember walking through the parking and balancing on the curb. I had reached the end and took two long jumps on the flat ground. The entire line jumped as I jumped. I was able to do this with ease since i was on flat ground. Problem was they weren't. There were bodies everywhere. People fell to the right, left and everywhere. The drama queen of the group just knew she broke her ankle and was going to be paralyzed. Thankfully there were no permanent injuries, in fact no injuries that persuaded us from playing the same game the next day.

Those jocks we looked up to in High School now play armchair quarterback, the musicians that played to sold out arena's are now playing Bar Mitzvah's and karaoke bars. The "successful" business man no longer is "successful" and the soccer mom is still wearing the same sweats that are no longer in style. The mega church has changed their model 3 times and we are still on the original. They are on the flat ground and we are still trying to balance and walk on the curb as the jump off. We jump anyways. The result is the same as it was back when we played in school. Some come away unharmed but we leave a trail of injured, bleeding, scared people trying to figure out how they lost the game.

When we played follow the leader we were unaware of the world around us focusing on the individual rather than the the inventor of the game. God started this game and has played the game throughout history. Moses followed the cloud of fire, Jacob across the dessert, Abraham, to name a few.. Jesus assumed the responsibility when He told the disciples "follow me". First we need to be looking to Jesus to fill the spot of line leader. Not some plan, some person, some model, the American Dream, or even our comfort. Sometimes following the Line Leader is hard but when we follow, He wins.

Super Villain

2010-07-27T21:11:00.005-04:00

Darth Vader, Sabretooth, The Joker, Magneto, Skeletor, Green Goblin, Lex Luthor, all guys we love to hate. On that list for many church goers is one more name. Judas Iscariot. The man who betrayed Jesus with a simple kiss. We seem as the Super Villain of scripture. There is no one else throughout the Bible who committed a more heinous crime. We put him in a class with Hitler, Stalin, and Hussein. Surely not one of us could be so selfish that we would betray Jesus with a kiss. Would we?

Of course not...We fill our sanctuaries every Sunday, we sing our songs to Him, we even give when the offering plates are passed. We are doing our religious duty. We even bring a friend to church for the Christmas message and will bring a can of food or two for the pantry when needed. We read our Bibles, we even offer up our prayers when we remember. We worship the resurrected Savior every Sunday!

Judas walked with the living Savior for three years. He attended the miracles. He probably handed out some of the bread and fish at the feeding of the five thousand. He attended religious feast with Jesus. He would have seen the people being healed.

The book of James encourages us to not only listen to the teachings of Jesus and scripture but to also let them become an outpouring in our lives. James does not tell us to hide behind some corporate banner as a way of following Jesus but to personally take an active role in living out the teachings of Jesus. James even goes as far as to say that "Faith without works is dead." (James 2:20). If we are going to call ourselves Christ followers how closely are we following? Are we following at a safe distance in order to make ourselves feel clean but yet still keeping Him in sight. Lord allow me to follow so closely that I get the dust your feet kick up all over my face.

Maybe we won't betray Jesus with a kiss but are we not betraying Him with our hollow worship. Are we betraying Him as we chase after the American dream while children in our own cities sleep in alley ways and cars? I wonder how it feels when we walk by the man laying in the street? I wonder how it feels as we scrape the excess off our plates and a child dies of malnutrition? Must feel just like Judas kiss!

Super Massive Black Hole

2010-04-06T20:41:00.001-04:00

I never realized how much I need people in my life. I enjoy being by myself sometimes. Always have had great people in and out of my life but never realized how valuable they are.

Can't believe it's been thirteen years. Thirteen years ago a Super Massive Black Hole was opened. Never realized the influence people have on you until you want to share dreams with them and you can't. I love dreaming. I don't really think they are dreams though. More like visions of what the future should be. Some of them scare me. Some of them excite me. None of them ever leave me. I miss the days of sharing them. I get to share them with my wife. She dreams with me but I miss sharing them with two people. I want to bring others along. They were suppose to be making these dreams a reality with me. Now I can't even talk to them. I know they are in a better place but that doesn't close the hole left behind. I'm not angry, just lonely. Not hurt, just jealous.

She will never hear me teach. She won't see me coach. She won't see my son shoot a three or block a shot. She won't see him change the world. She won't see Peyton dance. She will never hear her sing.

He was going into ministry with me. We were going to change the world. He could have coached my son. We would have started a church.

Now there is a hole where they were. Sometimes the dreams bring back memories. Sometimes they bring pain. Other times dissapointment. Wonder what it would have been like.

Tears of pain and joy cloud my vision but it's the brokeness that distracts from the dreams.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Paperweights & Jewelry

2010-04-01T00:47:00.000-04:00

As I prepare for what has become the most intimate of "religous holidays" for me I can't help but wonder what it was like that night 2000 years ago. What would it have been like to wake upon that Thursday morning? How many times have we heard "if today was your last day what would you do differently?" or "if you only had 24 hours left what would you do?". As I look through the accounts of Christ life I do not see Him trying to fill His bucket list. I don't see Him doing anything out of the ordinary.

I do not believe it is by accident that we do not find anything out of the ordinary on Christ last day. He did what He did everyday; pouring Himself out into the lives around Him. That evening he ate dinner with his 12 closest friends. We have managed to mess this picture up. It wasn't just a quick meal. It was a feast, a celebration.

Imagine the pain that Jesus felt as He sat their knowing this would be His last meal with His friends. How much easier would it have been for Jesus to shelter his friends from the upcoming ordeal?

That is what is so amazing about that night to me. Jesus came to be with humanity. He came to see, taste, touch, hear, and feel all the things we do. But, not only did He want to experience those things for us He wanted to do it with us. He brought along this odd pairing of friends for the ride of a lifetime. What if we were to do the same? What if we are meant to bring the people in our lives into our lives?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Designer Baggage

2010-03-29T23:26:00.000-04:00

I enjoy shopping. I know that I will lose manpoints for admitting this but I have extra to cash in so I will be fine. I don't even mind just shopping for clothes for my wife.

However I hate shopping for purses or bags. How many different black purses can there be? They all serve the same purpose. On a recent trip I was stuck in the middle of the purses. Both sides of the aisle were lined with black purses. Big bags, small bags, shiny bags, cloth bags. Bags everywhere. $20 bags, $400 bags. But they were all bags. They all do the same thing. They all were designed to accomplish the purpose. We have put designer names on them and marketed them to the masses.

Driving down the road I passed a First Baptist Church, a Catholic Church, Lutheran Chuch, Methodist Church and a community church. I began thinking of the purses. So
many choices all designed to accomplish the same purpose. We have put cute names on them and attempt to market Jesus. What if we threw out all the labels and just followed Jesus? What would this place look like? No more competing over a share in the market. No more hiding behind a tag.

On earth as it is in heaven...These labels won't make it to heaven. They will remain here among all the other things we have added to Jesus' teaching.

A Bird Without Wings

2010-03-25T22:56:00.004-04:00

I usually don't pay attention to politics. Honestly can't remember too many times that I was in a political conversation that really cared about. I am not saying they aren't important. I am not saying that there are not things I am passionate about that end up in the political arena. For the last month all I have heard about is this healthcare reform bill. Honestly I am sick of hearing bout it.

I have friends who identify themselves with the right, others the left. I have heard all the arguements. I DONT CARE. Be left, be right, be for it, be against it. Does it really matter?

. We as Christ followers have done a good job of diverting the attention away from us. I wonder how the story of the Good Samaritian would play out in America today.
Maybe it would be the church walking past the illegal alien because he didn't pay taxes, then the doctor walking by because of lack of insurance. Finally, the 18 year old person comes by and helps? Maybe we wouldn't have to worry about the Healthcare Bill if we lived like Jesus.

Dreams

2010-03-24T22:20:00.004-04:00

I love to daydream. I never had much of an imagination as a kid. Had more fun blowing up my G.I. Joes than pretending to save the world. Found it awkward playing cops and robbers. Never pretended to be the king of a far away land. That was then this is now.

I find myself constantly dreaming. I mow the yard and all the while I am working come up with plans for a non-profit that will provide shoes for the homeless. I dream of turning the world I am apart of inside out. I dream of writing a book. I dream of buying run down houses and fixing up helping struggling families get on their feet. I dream of a day when we see value in taking care of our neighbor. These are my dreams everyday.

The dreams I have at night aren't so fairy tale-ish. At night reality creeps in and chokes out what I want my reality to become. My thoughts are filled with images of the world we live in. The reality of the battle we are in sets in. I wake up and lay in fear. The images fail to escape me.As I sleep I don't envision heaven on earth but it is a hell in my head. The battle rages. I awaken in fear and the battle continues. I try to wipe the thought from my memory but I can't. I try to play the hero in my dreams but I fail. I know as I close my eyes the turmoil begins. Forces wrestle for my thought. I fight off sleep until the point of exhaustion. Reality sets in and the battle isn't against flesh and blood but rather a spiritual beings fighting to distract me from the dreams that are the desires of heart. God help me!

As I lay my head down I once again dream of heaven on earth. An upside down earth where everyone has shoes, a home and a book. The nightmares may come but that is not my dream or the reality to come. The reality is I may do some of those things, may not. But I can't be robbed of my dreams in this war.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Intoxicated

2010-03-22T09:45:00.002-04:00

As I sit at my favorite table in my favorite coffee shop it is as if God cleared the room just for me. I appreciate that and needed it. I love coming hear to hear stories and make new friends but today it is empty. Completely empty. There have been a couple of to go orders but nothing like usual. Pretty sure it is God's subtle way of saying that I needed this break. I started doing some work but my mind just kept wandering away. I have several messages that need my time but nothing is coming from my efforts.

I sit here and detox. I have been stressed and confused lately. I have wanted some time to just escape but there were deadlines to meet, people to connect with, birthdays to celebrate, life to live. Until now...

I have told others in my life to go relax and breathe God in all while gasping for breath but today is my day. My time is short here today but rich with purpose. Having only 4 hours of sleep and feeling well rested is a blessing. I sip on my Mocha el Grande and breath in breathe from heaven. My focus has been restored. Not thinking about politics or procedures but focused on purpose and things that matter eternally. Having felt loved and able to love is intoxicating.

The emptiness now begins to be uncomfortable because I feel the need to share...the need to love...the need to fulfill my purpose. Having received encouragement it overflows from the depths of my soul searching for ways to be expressed.

Thankful for coffee, quiet, and the world being put on pause for a minute just for me!

The Rev?

2010-02-22T22:26:00.002-05:00

A little over a week ago I was ordained. I am not going to go into all the theological details of ordination but instead would like to reflect on some of my memories of that night. It was an extremely special night for me. In case ordination is foreign to you, it is basically the local church body saying they recognize God's hand in your life.

I was so blessed to have so many friends there that night. Some of my wife's former and present students were there. I love these guys (and girls). Some of them are very involved in ministry themselves. I could talk to these guys for hours, and have. I cherish our friendships and look forward to the opportunities to serve together. Thanks guys for being there.

I was honored to have some current pastors who encourage me and presently speak into my life present. The Bartell's were there. Love these guys. There church is off "the trail" and they are tearing it up. They allow me to participate in different ministries they are a part of. They are really loving their neighbors. Westpoint was represented by Jim Collins and a video from Jason Dukes. These guys and this church family continues to inspire me. They have pushed me harder than anyone else in the last year. So blessed to be a part of these church families.

My principle from elementary school was their. He is a former pastor to whom I owe a lot to. During my routine trips to his office he saw something in me and invested a great deal of time in me. I remember in 5th grade sitting in his office going through EE training. Thanks Mr. Walton.

My 11th grade Sunday School teachers were there, later had them as young marrieds teachers too. Shared many a smile and many a tear with these guys. He even stayed awake. ;) Thanks for the time you invested in me.

My family was there. They have put up with me the longest. They have to listen to me dream on how to turn a city upside down and follow along with some of my crazy ideas. Thanks for all the support.

My new family. Lockhart. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of this amazing thing going on at the little church on the busy corner. Couldn't think of a better place to be.

Thankful for all the men who came down to pray over me. Even if you made me cry because you spoke of me like I was part of your family. You know who you are. I value the time I get to spend with your family.

RETRO- You guys are amazing!!!!!!!!!! I get to go on this crazy roller coaster of life with you all. Some of you are gonna turn this place upside down, inside out. I love watching you fall in love with following Jesus. You love those around you like Christ loves us. You are leaders. Keep going.

Most of all I want to say that I have the MOST AMAZING wife and kids. You put up with me hiding to study, dreaming big dreams, and always willing to put others first. Ya'll are amazing.

Jesus, Thanks for dying!

Ready for a fight!

2010-02-04T08:04:00.003-05:00

I must confess. I got in a few fights in my younger years. Like most guys they were territorial disputes. I enjoy watching a hockey fight, baseball brawl, and even some of the MMA fights. For some weird reason I have always enjoyed professional wrestling. These are the images that first come to mind when we think about fights. We envision two people, usually powerful strong guys, exchanging blows until one gets the upper hand. We see professional wrestlers act this out in a choreographed routine making ballet dancers jealous with their ability to leap and jump with utmost precision.

There is a larger fight going on that we tend to overlook. We overlook it not because we are unaware of it. We see the casualties everyday. We see those who once followed Jesus walking away, burned out, tired, hurt, and alone. We see those who were once passionate about learning the ways of Jesus content with just living. We see people excited as they begin to realize what it means to follow Jesus only to decide the cost are too high. We see once stable marriages crash. We see families torn apart by what seems to be irrational behavior.

Last night I was thrown for somewhat of a surprise as I watched the spiritual battle unfold in front of my eyes and take on flesh. I am aware of the battle going on but this time I could see it develop and fleshed out in front of me. A new believer was worshipping as two of her friends began to heckle her. It continued to the point she broke. She had to leave the room in tears. The overprotective side of me wanted to shield her from this and say this never happens but the other side of me saw this as a growing point in her life. This battle goes on daily and we over look it. The urge is to give in to what feels natural. The desire to fight is not always there.

I hope we become aware of the battle going on around us.

CHAOS

2010-01-31T22:08:00.002-05:00

Ever have one of those days that would fit into a Lifetime movie? You know the tear-jerker that is too good to be true. Today was one of those days to me. It started off like a typical Sunday for me. Waited to the last minute and then had to rush around in order to arrive at the church building on time. Needed to make a DVD for worship and couldn't concentrate on it. Needed to be doing two things at once but couldn't focus on one. Didn't get through half of the lesson. It was beautiful.Yes BEAUTIFUL! It drives me crazy but I have learned to love it.The chaos is controlled and has begun to represent growth. If it was the same 5 kids up there that were there two years ago I would have been able to multi-task much easier. With 23 people up there it gets a little crazy.

The beauty isn't in the lesson. It isn't in the music. It isn't in the occasional breakfast treats. Not even in the Starbuck's that someone occasionally brings in for me. (Although there is beauty and energy in that amazing cup). The beauty happens before i say a word. The beauty happens in what the outsider would perceive as controlled chaos. You see when we all sit around and talk over each other I sit there and absorb the conversations. I hear the people encouraging a brother/sister who is in an unhealthy relationship of need to look at the bigger picture. I hear the group offer support for the person having issues at home. I hear one person talk about how God revealed himself to her during the week. I hear about the person who befriended the person at their school who doesn't believe the same way they do. This is the beauty. Young people living a life outside of the four walls of our building. They are not waiting to be ministered to; they are being the ministers.

Tonight the girl who decided to follow Jesus wanted to tell everyone about it. Sunday night I am the one who gets to baptize her. I am so undeserving to be allowed the role I play in this. I get just as nervous now as I did when I baptized the first person. I still get the lump in my throat as I announce the newest member into the kingdom. It didn't stop with her though. We had a 24 year old young lady decide to follow Jesus today. What a day for the kingdom.

Wreaking Havoc!

2010-01-27T22:42:00.004-05:00

What a night! I like to try to immerse myself into the story when I read a book. Imagine myself being part of the story, maybe not always as the super hero but at least on the sidelines watching everything unfold. Try to get in the mind of the author. Sometimes this takes a toll on me though because it becomes too personal. As the students and I walk through the sermon on the mount this has been the case more than once. From the beginning some of the verses are against my nature, peacemaker, sometimes I prefer to just hash the thing out and be done with it.

Tonight was the first night we had our prayer room set up. Pretty sure it was the uncool thing to do. We took the ping pong table down in order to have a place dedicated to prayer.

I have had a devotion that is due tomorrow for my Evangelism/Discipleship class and had everything ready.

Then tonight...Jesus showed up and turned everything upside down/inside out. Love how he does that. I grew up hearing that life was easy when you decided to follow Jesus. I was taught that Jesus was a lot like a magic potion. Pray and life would be OK. Leave your problems at the cross and everything would be easy. After all isn't that what Paul did. He followed Jesus and the thorn from his side was removed. Oh wait, God said NO. Possibly the greatest missionary of all time struggled. Why shouldn't we?

I refuse to teach about the magic potion Jesus. Tonight I was teaching from Matthew 6:1-5ish and recapped chapter 5. Talked about how this was not the norm. Jesus teaching were hard, challenging, and sometimes even disturbing. Then chapter 6 opens by saying don't do this so people can see you and think "Hey this dude has it figured out"; but do it secretly expecting n0thing as thanks. Talked about how hard it is to follow Jesus sometimes. It goes against what were do naturally. Pretty sure I wouldn't make it as a salesman trying to sell Jesus as a product. Felt like I was not running smooth tonight.

Having said this and all Glory to God, tonight I watched as Jesus did it again. Turned a young girls life upside down. He wreaked havoc in this ladies life. The uncool prayer room became holy. Instead of having a dedication ceremony we christened it with a girl deciding to follow in the ways of Jesus. I was asked to go in there and talk to a couple of young ladies and asked my wife to go for me. So thankful for that. She was able to share with the girl what it means to follow Jesus. I got to watch my wife walk out all choked up after experiencing this. Yea it would have been cool to be in there but its not about me and being able to bring one more person in to experience this was amazing.

Pretty sure what I was going to do for my devotion just got turned upside down, He did it again...

On a roll...

2010-01-19T20:32:00.003-05:00

I would love to be able to post this often but I can come up with a million reasons why I won't but in reality it comes down to a lack of discipline. I really do enjoy writing and hope to become more disciplined over the year.

Haiti has been on my mind the last couple of days for obvious reasons. I can remember a time that I may have watched the news but never associated the people inside the TV as part of God's creation too. Now my heart breaks for the people there. I read a story of a teenage boy being shot in the head over some food (as we throw away our leftovers because we have excess). I heard a story of a pastor there filming as part of a documentary who had a Haitian pimp try to sell him a young teenage girl. He payed for an hour and bought her a lunch. I have mixed emotions about this because I am sickened he is there making a movie and taking up room that someone could be doing search and recovery. I also personally don't think I would have been able to turn her back over like a piece of property. I think that may

be one of those times I would have taken a bullet for a stranger. I was on a blog for a pastor who had been talking about the violence. I saw so called Christ followers talking about putting a bullet in people's heads, showing them what a beat down was, and how they understand how God had chosen Haiti for this plague. DISTURBING!

I later found myself on a website of a Mennonite pastor who told stories of Haitians working together to dig survivors out of rubble with only their hands. He told how they put their differences aside and worked together. He saw people sharing what food they had. Sharing tents, blankets, and clothing. We tend to hear less of this because it isn't as likely to make it into a movie.

Talking with some people this week they commented how the ordeal reminded them of a movie. They even talked about how it could be made into a movie. It will be. We will watch the very event that devastated a country, killed thousands, and crippled more for entertainment. We already watch rape, murder, racism, hate all in the name of entertainment. It pains me to think that we have taken a horrific crime like rape and put it on the big screen so much we are numb to it. We hear about it happening in real life and it barely effects us. Instead of leaving us shattered and moving us into action we flip the channel to American Idol or Lost never pausing to realize that was a child of God robbed. Never taking the time to even pray for healing. We put this crap into our heads under the umbrella of entertainment and nub ourselves so we do not have to feel the pain of the broken and hurt. The very people the Son of God came to heal.

I pray for and see a generation of people willing to change the world and fight for the injustice of the land instead of talking about how things should be or use to be. I see a people rising up willing to stand beside those who have been forgotten. I see a longing for the kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven! The only way this will ever come to be is by one crazy word that seems to turn things upside down every time it is executed in it's purest form. LOVE

Hopefully the two words that stand out on this page stand out together. When we love how we are suppose to it disturbs those around us...not like the car with the system that rattles your door disturbs you... but that it disturbs you to find out why and how can anyone love like that.

My prayer is we never become numb to the condition of people around us. My prayer is that it never again takes a catastrophic earthquake to make us pay attention to our neighbors living in poverty. That we realize it is our responsibility.

Been a while...

2010-01-18T10:42:00.002-05:00

Hadn't realized it had been so long since I have been on here. My life has changed dramatically over the past couple of months once again. The company I work for has lost its major account which has trickled down to my family as a tremendous pay cut. My initial response was one of panic. My wife then slapped me (figuratively) and asked me who I was trusting to meet our needs? My employer or my Savior? It is real easy to answer until you are the one trying to figure out how 2+2 can equal 5. It can't with my employer paying me but with God he uses a different set of math rules. Trusting him to meet our needs and learning to cut where cuts can be made 2+2=5!

I have also found out you can really graduate from BCF Orlando extension. The end is near! I start school on Thursday and I am so excited for my classes this semester. Great classes and 3 professors I dearly love and respect. Knowing that I am already aware that I will be putting forth extra effort in those classes but still can't wait.

This last week we have all seen the pictures and video's of the earthquake in Haiti. My heart breaks for the people struggling to survive. I long to be there and pray that if the Lord calls me in that direction I am ready but until then I pray for the people. I encourage anybody that reads this to be aware of the condition people around the world live in and do what you can. You may think that there is not much you as an individual can do but when we all do together great things are done. There are these same stories of desperate people trying to survive in our own backyards. In our children's lessons yesterday I had a young girl express that she was afraid of Haitians moving into central Florida. She had been told that they would cause the crime rate to explode. My question is how much will the Haitian people be exploited in central Florida. How many will only find a job paying minimum wage, if they find a job, working much harder and longer than their supervisor's making 6 figures? How many will be shunned from our Sunday gatherings because they do not fit our image? How many will never hear the story of Jesus because they don't fit into our socio-economic groups? How many of us will even notice they our here as we live a life of isolation from anything that disturbs us? We hear the teachings of Jesus and wonder how they can fit into our lives instead of wondering how we can fit into His teachings!

Just a few quick thoughts on MLK day.

Burdened

2009-11-11T22:33:00.002-05:00

We are currently walking through the sermon on the mount from Matthew 5 on Wednesday nights. We are only 12 verses in and I feel like I have had my but kicked. As I teach on this passage I examine my own life and feel like I am so far from where I want to be. I find my selfish desires getting in the way. I feel like there are so many changes that could be made.

I read stories of people who have put aside their selfish desires and hear how they are impacting their world; not in some third world country, but, right here in America. My throat wells up with this joy knowing they are doing it. I long to be impacting my world in such a way. I long to see the kingdom of heaven manifested here on earth. I long to love my neighbor in a way representative to the way Christ has loved me. I am weak though.

I wonder how different our lives would be if we were able to live out the teachings of Matthew 5 consistently. How would that impact our spheres of influence? We tend to spend time on/with what we value most. Think about that for a minute and then think about your schedule. I know we all work because we have bills but, why do we have so many bills?

As we imagine what Matthew 5 would look like lived out in America and 2009 some of us dream. Our dreams seem bizarre and out there. They seem extreme and outrageous. Maybe they aren't as out there as we would like to think. Maybe that is exactly what we need to do.

I am burdened to live out these verse on a daily basis. No matter how extreme or outrageous I may look, I long to do just that. I want to live an ordinary life making a radical statement about living a lifestyle sent from the Way!

Life is short...sometimes too short!

2009-10-25T23:24:00.000-04:00

Most of us do not want to think of our own imortality but from time to time things come up and we find the very subject monopolizing our conscious thoughts.

We write wills. We talk about how we want our crap distributed. We plan elaborate ceremonies so people can come pay homage to the person that no longer is. We throw a granite marker to remind people if our existence.

What if we left our marker by loving like there is no tomorrow? What if we loved without fear of rejection? What if we lived life trying to love those society wrote off? We are afraid to love. When we love we become vunerable. When we become vunerable we may get hurt. It is at that point we really love. The very moment we experience pain is the moment we learn to love.

Love can do some amazing things. It will cause a man to give the shirt off his back. A woman will endure hours of pain in order to bring a new life into this world. Love causes us to do crazy things too.

The most amazing thing love has done was held a man to a tree. At anytime this man could have come down. But, because of the tremendous love he had he endured. He loved like there was no tomorrow.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday morning dump!

2009-10-16T08:00:00.005-04:00

I have not been on here near as much as I would like to. I have several posts sitting in drafts waiting to be finalized, but whether they ever make it is another story. I am really wanting to become more disciplined and a better steward of my time. I have all these ideas I want to make a reality, but can't seem to find the time to push forward on them.

I am thankful for the people I get to walk through life with. I get to hang out with the most inspirational teenagers I have ever met. They are truly amazing. From organizing a school-wide (public school) mission project to looking at the hard verses in scripture and asking what is God really saying in this verse? They challenge me as we walk together in this crazy thing we call life. As a student pastor I wish our gathering realized the role they could be playing in shaping our church body in the future. It is frustrating at times to see them and me written off as "the youth". There is so much talent amongst them. We have authors, interior decorators, singers, musicians, servants, teachers, encouragers, artist, photographers, you name it and it is probably represented within our group. But they are the "youth" group. I have been able to watch this group grow in their walk consistently. They have wisdom that only comes from walking in relationship with their Lord. I pray that no matter what lies ahead in their future that they will spur each other on to grow and chase after their relationship with Jesus. That they run after it with reckless abandonment. That they do not grow weary.

I am weary. I continue to pour out and constantly try to empty myself into the students and my family. I love that part. It is refreshing to know I have given all. I am weary from being drained. My job drains me daily. I try to do a job that honors Christ, but at times feel like I get taken advantage of. I am reminded of how Christ was taken advantage of and push forward. I try to serve two masters. Money and God. I have to work to pay the bills, but that takes away from the task that has been laid in front of me. I push forward sacrificing what I can. I am drained from constantly being on guard. I know that is Satan trying to disrupt what I am here to accomplish, but it wears on you. I try to be all things to all men/women, but realize that some people don't want that. I push forward. I am broken and beaten, but I push forward longing for the day when I can look back on this and see the Master plan.

I search for clarity and direction. I am humbled that God has called me for these tasks and even ask "Why me?" at times. I push forward still. How much easier would it be to run, but then I realize there is no place to run. God has put me here for His purpose so I continue to cling on and push forward.

Dreams are meant to be reality

2009-08-29T21:56:00.003-04:00

I dream big. I don't mean the dreams that I have in my sleep. Not the dreams of having someone I didn't know give me the keys to their brand new Ferrari. The dreams of changing the world. The dreams of giving someone a new outlook on life. The dream that someday extreme poverty can come to an end. These aren't really dreams though. I think these are the passion to love others blooming within our own minds. I read a survey that if every person who claimed to follow Christ would give to charity world hunger would be cured. If Americans spent less at Christmas people around the entire globe could have clean drinking water. (As we dump the half bottle of lukewarm Voss (imported Norwegian water) down the drain). On the space station it cost $700 to filter enough urine into enough clean drinking water to fill a 16 oz. bottle. I was recently reminded that there are 3.5 million homeless people in America, nearly half of them are children.

I dream big. I dream that with a generation that cares more about doing and less about talking these things can be something my grandchildren can read about these things in their History books. My children can be a part of the solution. From buying responsibly to giving of time, the ways to contribute are endless. What if we decide to "need" less in order to give away more?

The only time we see a person walk away from Christ still searching was the man who wasn't willing to give up what he had. Have we walked away from the true message of scripture. The word purpose has become a buzz word among leadership in the last decade. The problem so many times is we were defining our purpose when it had been clearly defined for us 2000 years ago. Love others, love God. Maybe instead of trying to rewrite the purpose we should be trying to be creative and come up with as many ways we can to love others, and love God.

Loving is not just throwing money at a problem in order to disguise it. That would be equivalent to putting a band aid on an amputated arm. In order to love like Christ we must suffer like Christ, sacrifice like Christ. We were never told it would be easy. Never told it wouldn't have a price. Love came and conquered death. But it had to stare death in the face in order to do so. It had to be near.

DREAM BIG!

REACT BIGGER!

10:45 Experience Day 3

2009-07-20T23:39:00.002-04:00

10:45 Experience Day 2

2009-07-20T00:20:00.002-04:00

The Journey!

2009-07-18T23:42:00.004-04:00

Well it is finally here! The first mission trip I have ever been on is also the first mission trip that I have ever planned. If you know me you know I am a let's go do it type of guy. So needless to say I was in shock when I realized how much paperwork there would be to do. But thanks to my amazing wife, paper work is done and everything organized. Enough about that stuff, let's get to the stuff that matters.

Our journey didn't start today. It started months ago when we, (I), felt God leading me to do something different. I had always gone to a summer camp, the church I am at has always done a summer camp. So that means we stick with tradition and do a summer camp, right? Not! Nothing against camps but lately I have been pulled into focusing on meeting the needs of others, loving people wherever they are, and serving the LOCAL community. In other words giving my life as a living sacrifice. Pretty sure the Bible says something about that. So the journey began.

Forget all the details on how we chose the trip and how we hooked up with the body of believers we are working with. Plain and simple, God did it. Camps are great. We go away for week and have this mountain top spiritual experience. We get off the bus and sprint to the top of the mountain and it feels so good. We are recharged! We get on the bus, come home and before we know it we have tripped and slid down that mountain as quick as we went up. Honestly it sucks! What a draining experience. That's where this trip was different from the beginning. We started preparing months ago. Every message I gave on Wednesday nights was pointing toward the trip. Unity, living life abundantly, love, encouragement, focus. I got this crazy idea that 30 days before the mission trip I would challenge myself to go "deeper" in my relationship with a loving Savior. Then I decided to bring everyone for the ride. Knowing it would be hard for any of us to finish it. Well I never knew how serious some of them would take it. I am pretty sure I had some parents ready to smack me when there kids gave up their cell phones for a week to focus on God. But through this whole journey I have seen friendships formed, and spiritual growth in so many of us. This wasn't a sprint to the top but a steady climb.

Day 1. We got off to a rainy start but the sun was shining when we got off the bus. The hotel was amazing and in a later post I will share how God was already preparing this place for us. We broke up into teams to get our job descriptions and started planning for Xtreme Nights. The skit practice went amazing. People were engaging with each other and not just within their circle of friends but with everyone.

Amazing start to an amazing week!

Feeling Good!

2009-07-09T23:59:00.004-04:00

It was one of those weeks. You know the kind. You have enough to do to keep you busy for a month but a deadline to meet in a week. You feel like you can do nothing right. You have a line of people with some complaint. You crave a day off to relax but can't afford to put things aside long enough to get that time away

That was my week. I was up late working on numerous projects and getting less sleep each night it seemed. my body was tired and my mind was numb. I had been putting in extra hours at both of my jobs. There are days when it just doesn't seem worth it and I was having a couple of those in a row. I was behind quite a few paychecks at the one. Thankfully my wife has done an amazing job at juggling our bills and somehow kept everything up to date.

Something that hadn't happened in a while happened that weekend. My wife and I were able to go out on a date. Our son was invited to stay the night with some friends and the mother-in-law took our daughter shopping. We finally got to go out. We enjoyed every minute of it. It was a gift card date. Used gift cards for dinner and then used gift cards to see a movie. It was perfect. We laughed and joked the night away. We acted like teenagers going out by themselves for the first time.

We even got to go to the beach by ourselves on Saturday. I taught Laura how to catch fish. Really, barehanded. Ask her. She didn't even have to make mud pies that day. We caught crabs, the crustacean kind. The only drawback to the beach was we both got a little burnt. No big deal, we have shed and back to normal already. Then we were able to find "The Chattaway" for lunch. It is a little hole in the wall burger joint. I loved this place. I ate there for an emergent church conference I attended in 09. Somehow we found it and enjoyed a great meal.

Then it was back to reality, fun was over and back to the real world. I honestly was feeling a little, okay, a lot, beat up. I felt like a cage fighter in a handicap match. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of "good" things going on. We had 10 visitors in our youth gathering. Yes 10! It just seemed the bad was so bad in over shadowed everything else. Then I began to remember to focus on the things that matter. Love God, Love people. I had someone who was visiting tell me they wish their youth group was like ours. I had someone else tell me they wish their youth pastor cared as much about them as an individual. There was also an email sent about how much people loved our group. I am not saying any of this to receive thanks, or glory. I am saying all this to say one thing. Through life's crap God's love is still visible. Christ came to give us a more abundant life. Not an easy life with more stuff. Those people who shared in my life this week, Thank you for helping me see the abundance of life!

Ready for round two.

Organic & Alive-(or at least should be)

2009-06-28T21:36:00.004-04:00

Organic and alive! The gathering we traditionally call church should be both of these but unfortunately more times than not it appears to be manufactured and dying! I am not bashing traditional church because I am a part of the establishment. I am not pointing out problems but rather trying to be a part of the solution. Do NOT take these words out of context or try to apply them to any specific "church" or situation. The very need for this disclaimer serves as proof of the church being manufactured.

Church is not the building we meet in! It is the body of Christ! Unfortunately the body of Christ is spilling blood everywhere walking around wounded missing limbs due to the amputation of limbs that didn't fit our mold, methods or idea of what they should be. I spoke on an abundant life. When asking people what abundant meant I got answers all over the place but the most prolific answer had to do with having enough stuff, or more than what we need. However, when asked if they felt they had an abundant life not one person said they felt fulfilled in their life. I spoke to a good friend who had looked back at the previous years of his life and said he didn't feel he was accomplishing much. I look back over my life and with all the ups and downs I certainly cant say I feel like I have had an abundant life. Good life, yes. Great life, yes. But I don't really know if I can say abundant. If abundant means overflowing than am I living life more abundantly?

This has absolutely nothing to do with stuff! The new iPhone 3Gs does not qualify as living more abundantly. The bass boat, new car, fancy shoes, or fat wallet do not constitute an abundant life. That is just stuff! If our good deeds are like filthy rags, (for fun do a word study on that) what does Christ think of our stuff, what does he think of our refusal to allow him to give us a more abundant life.

This past Saturday I was privileged to get up early on my day off to go attend a local gathering doing some ministry work. Guess what?, they were even from another denomination and didn't care I didn't have the same denominational i.d. card in my wallet. I say this tongue in cheek but in reality we allow our man made labels to do more harm to the kingdom then good many times. Our denominational prejudice do as much harm as racism did in the 50's. It was a ministry that provided QUALITY food, not the out of date beets in the back of the pantry, at a greatly reduced price. They have strict guidelines as to who can qualify for the food. Only one type of person can qualify for the food. You have to be breathing. Pretty strict huh? You don't have to fill out paperwork, join the church, or memorize the apostle's creed!

The beauty of this day was I saw the living, organic church. Not the building, as described by the pastor I was working with, their building was more suitable as a hunting lodge than a worship center. It was beautiful though. Don't ask me to describe the facilities and buildings because I couldn't. I can describe the face of every person I came in contact with though. I can tell you exactly what the church looked like. The young girl with the nose piercing who was up early on a Saturday morning to help make boxes with the radiant smile. The one that made me laugh as I was learning how to juggle food for three boxes at one time. The mom who brought her young boy down to help carry boxes to cars, the boy who was wanting to go to Full Sail to design video games. The young man who had repaired lawn mowers to GIVE away, blonde hair flat top. The middle aged gentleman and his wife who were in charge of putting next months order forms in the boxes. They reminded me of my wife and I with their sense of humor. The first couple that I met that day met us at the pick up sight. I had wanted to learn more about this ministry in hopes of getting the people we gather with involved in providing this for our neighbors. They showed me everything. EVERYTHING. I even got to unload the semi! I loved being able to get in their and be a part. The church was beautiful, organic, and alive.

Not every person that was helped that day will set foot in a service. Not every one will follow Christ but EVERY one saw the love of Christ. Every one saw the church alive! The goal wasn't to see how many converts they could record for the month. I flashback to the feeding of the 5,ooo. Jesus saw people and loved them. Loved them where they were, who they were and feed them. That is it.

I also can't help but to look back at the early church. You know the one that is talked about in the book of Acts. They came together and made sure none went without. They functioned as a body. Together. Where has that gone? It is still there, in each one of us, waiting to be unleashed.

The conversation on the way home was enlightening to say the least. Their gathering had decided to take Sunday nights off for the summer. I have mixed emotions about that because I LOVE our gathering on Sunday nights. Although I would love a night off every now and then. I would also love to do things outside of the box. I digress. They were asked "what are we going to do for church on Sunday nights?" The response "Be the church". When we walk out of the building we are still the church. Their men's ministry has begun to grow now that they no longer meet at the "church". They meet and get wings and play pool. Guy things. They get BBQ. Someday they might even take a page out of Jesus' playbook and meet by a lake and fish.

The church has left the building.

Thank you to anyone who made that Saturday so special to me. You know who you are and hopefully remember me as much as I remember you!

Inhale!

2009-05-13T08:29:00.006-04:00

It has been a crazy month. Didn't realize it had been so long since I have updated but time flies when on the roller coaster of life. My last post was talking about living transparent and being faithful so this is a continuation of that. Since then my wife has found out she will have a job next year. God is faithful. She will be teaching more classes then normal and now also teaching high school. She may also receive a pay cut due to enrollment being down but none the less this job was a gift from God. It is hard to rejoice when some of her colleagues were less fortunate. I pray for them to depend on God for their needs and listen for his voice during this stressful time.

My job situation is still in limbo but God continues to provide. Through all the struggles and sleepless nights I have an indescribable peace knowing that I am right where he wants me and I don't have to be in control.

I have seen God speaking louder than I have ever before. I pray and expect answers but never really hold on waiting for an answer. I know He will answer but I go on many times not looking or waiting to see Him work in big ways. Things have been different lately. Almost scary different. I have been praying for a good friends parents who were hit by a car while crossing the street. My wife threw me a semi surprise birthday party an

d during the day I was burdened to pray for his mother. I felt guilty for celebrating life as he was watching his mother cling onto hers. As I was awaiting arrival of the guest I decided to read my emails. I hadn't had a chance to read them for the day. I was moved to tears as I read his update and saw she opened her eyes for the first time in two weeks. If I remember correctly she was also able to communicate with them.

Fast forward....They had been moved to separate rehab facilities and I began to put myself in his fathers shoes and praying that somehow he could get his dad over to his mom's center for a visit. I had no idea this was in the plans. I was on the 429 heading into Apopka to meet my wife. 10 minute drive the way I drive.(SSSHHHH!) I prayed that this would happen very soon. My intentions were to get to WalMart and text Jason and tell him I w

as praying for this visit to happen. I did not know he was already working on that. I pull into WalMart and my phone makes the beautiful iPhone ding letting me know I have an email. It was an update from Jason telling me his dad was going to see his mom the next day. WOW!!!! I text Jason to share with him my joy as I was overwhelmed. I know I am not the only one praying and it wasn't an answer for just me but it was powerful.

I say all this to simply say my God is faithful and powerful. He answers prayer. He loves us. He wants to hold us. So to continue to be transparent and wonder what next week will bring but I don't have to worry. It is nice to be set free and enjoy the roller coaster of life.

transparent

2009-04-08T22:12:00.003-04:00

I try to live my life as transparent as possible but sometimes it is just too hard. It seems lately that when it rains it pours. As you may already know, my days of working where I have for the last twenty something years are numbered. I have been coming to grips with this and trying to rely on God to show me His plan through all of this.

I got horrible news this past Saturday that one of the most special people in my life was on his way to his parents hospital rooms due to an accident. My heart broke for him. In the short amount of time I have known him, he has challenged and pushed me to be a better person. He has showed my family tremendous amounts of love and influenced my son more than he will ever know. As he sits miles away from his wife and kids, praying for his parents care, I am left here feeling inadequate wishing I could do more.

Today the carpet was ripped out from under me. Due to the economy pretty much bottoming out my wife will be joining the ranks of victims of the poor economy. She will (unless things change drastically) be jobless. She was doing what she loved where she loved but that may be coming to an end. So now what? I don't know. I lay here writing this scared but still trusting. I was just telling someone tonight how can I question God? If he is big enough to create me isn't He big enough to take care of me.

Yes I am scared. Yes I am nervous, upset, angry but aren't all of these the emotions God gave us. That doesn't mean I am hopeless. Even through all the crap I still feel He is in control. That may be why I struggle so much with this. I like being in control. We say we surrender all to Christ but do we? I am trying to be thankful for all this because my prayer is to be able to live a life that is transparent. Transparent so people may see me struggle and worry but still see my hope lies in my Jesus. After all, in the end that is all we have.

Paper God

2009-03-31T08:03:00.003-04:00

I have been employed by the same company for close to 25 years. I have had other part time jobs during this time but always worked here at least part time. I have had no other full time job. It has definitely had its shares of ups and downs but it has always been there. The pay has been good, sometimes even great. I have been able to see things that some people only dream of and meet some influential people. For the last couple of years though I have enjoyed working less and less. Nothing has really changed there so I know that this change is coming from within. However, nothing was going to prepare me for this bombshell. I have been told my days are numbered working there. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with our consumer driven economy.

What am I going to do? I have a wife and two children I need to provide for. I have a mortgage and bills. The job market sucks so where can I find a job. I am still in school, how am I going to finish my degree? How could we sell our house fast? Do we really need a second car? My head was full of thoughts of despair and self pity. I lay sleepless at night praying that somehow we would make it through this.

Then all of a sudden the lights came on for me. I have told other people to trust Him, He is in control but it is easier said than done. When your monthly income will be cut in half that takes a lot of faith. I don't know what label you want to put on it, praying, meditating, quiet time, (not a big fan of trying to fit things in a box) but I felt overwhelmed. But this time I was not scared, but confident. It is said that faith is the evidence of things not seen, I cant see the future but I must have faith.

We talk a lot about having faith and trusting God but we usually stop there. We talk about it because it makes us feel good, we feel all spiritual talking about it but when the time comes we find our own methods. We have "needs" to be met so we meet them by working more hours, running up the credit card balance, or some other method. We pray that God will heal us all while preparing ourselves not to be healed.

I was becoming what I despise most. A Fake! I say I trust God and have faith in Him all while worrying myself sick. I believe in the paper god to meet my needs, provide for my needs but fail to put my faith in the God who loves me. During my time of coming to grips I realized God had called me to take a step in faith. I have been wanting to spend more time focusing on growing the young people I get to share life with and I really feel like God is giving this time to me. How are we gonna pay our bills? I don't know. But I don't have to. God figured it all out for me.

Am I scared? More than you could ever imagine but I think what is scarier is that I know this is coming from God. I was sharing this briefly with someone and they really put this in perspective for me when they said isn't even scarier that He would speak to me. Wow! The creator of life chooses to speak to us! Puts being faithful into a little better perspective.

Where is this going to take me? Right down the path God leads me. I am currently praying and trusting that this is happening to me to allow more time to love on people and be an example to them.

Listening and stepping out!

Blinded by the unseen!

2009-02-05T21:52:00.006-05:00

I find it amazing and disturbing how God works. God has taken me on a wild ride the last couple of years of my life. To say that it has been life changing would be an understatement! It has been humbling as well as exhilarating. I have cried tears of joy as well as tears from a broken heart. I have seen humanity at its kindest as well as the total disregard of a persons worth. I haven't had to leave the country and travel to a foreign land. This all has happened within a couple of miles from my house.

If you have spent anytime with me in the last couple of years you hopefully have realized by now that God has placed a burden on my heart to love . LOVE. Not judge, not fix, not feel sorry for, just to love them. Pretty basic right? NOT! We have a hard enough time showing the ones we love the most how we love them. How many times have we been impatient with a spouse or a friend? Love is patient. (Confession-I'm not always) Ever snap at someone you care about? Love is kind. God has been calling me to love in a sacrificial way not a superficial way. Disney makes love look so easy but that is a fairy tale not real life.

I had thought I had done a good job of loving but I was beginning to realize I loved when it was easy. When it was convenient. I thought I was doing a good job of loving those people I saw around me but I was blind. There were people all around me in pain that i had never seen before. I felt bad for people but never loved them. Praying wasn't enough anymore. Talking about it isn't enough. It was a call to action.

I no longer see people in the same way. I still see faces but I now see the hunger in their eyes. Not for food but for love. This isn't about helping the homeless or the poor, the single mom, or the widow. It is about loving everyone. Yes that is the homeless but it is also the lady tat takes your order at Froggers. It is also the church member who sits on the second row, the wealthy client who over tips you. We are in a world that is starving to be loved. Can you see it?

Who is worthy?

2009-01-15T09:42:00.003-05:00

On Friday, January 9th I was working at a restaurant in downtown Apopka when a young lady approached me. She introduced herself to me and explained how she was a missionary from Georgia. (the country not the home of the Bulldogs) This did not surprise me because on another occasion that I was there I had a gentleman come up and introduce himself as a missionary for another Eastern European country. I have heard how America has become one of the greatest countries for missionaries from overseas, even was in school with one for a semester or two. But never thought I would run into one in Apopka. Not once but twice.

God has impressed on my life the value of all human life. He has really open my eyes up to what it means to love. Because of this I was deeply disturbed by this chance meeting with a fellow believer. I was actually busy for a change and was in the midst of moving some heavy equipment. She came up to me to speak and I knew the routine. That was not the part that bothered me. It wasn't the fact that I had to stop what I was doing to have this conversation, I actually didn't mind taking a break. It wasn't any part of our conversation. It was the fact that as she hurried across the street she had a choice to make. I was there working and there was another man sitting on the curb passing time. She chose me. Not a big deal right? The part that was a big deal is after my conversation she went on never saying a word to this gentleman.

No one else was in the area but she walked pass him never even saying "Hi".

He was homeless. His clothes were wrinkled. He had all of his earthly possessions on him. Some how in our twisted view of the value of life we are attracted to the lives that most reflect ours. I am not putting her down because she has the guts to go to a foreign country and share her faith boldly. I just ask who de we go out of our way to talk to. Those who look like us, listen to the same music as us, dress like us, make as much money as us? We do the same thing day in and day out.

Jesus was homeless, even a fox has a den and birds their nest, He carried his belongings with Him, He didn't wear the fancy clothes. Would we walk by Jesus if He were here today because we wouldn't find value in His appearance? As we walk through life we determine the value of a persons worth. What if God used the same standards we do? Would Mary be the virgin mother? Would the shepherds been the first to hear? Would Paul have become the greatest missionary of all time? How do I measure up? Can I measure up?

I am thankful that God sees us ALL as worthy!

Been a while...

2009-01-05T23:13:00.006-05:00

My intentions were good but follow through was lacking. I envy those of you who post on a regular basis. I never find the time or don't make it a priority to actually post. I was hoping to have all of these stimulating blogs over the holidays encouraging us to remember Christmas as a time of celebrating relationships. After all are we not celebrating the relationship of Christ with us? Isn't it about Him coming to us to walk amongst us? Unfortunately it has become a holiday to celebrate the consumerism and greed of the American way. Just so I don't miss the opportunity check out this video.

This Christmas was probably one of the best Christmas' for our family. We got bogged down with all the normal junk. Having to attend the obligatory parties and performances. Fighting the traffic to get to the mall. Not that we didn't enjoy some of these activities but many times we have to do these things out of obligation not a desire to spend time at the event. This year we didn't wait for the grandparents to start opening the gifts. This year we didn't take the traditional picture of the tree with all the gifts under it. This year my wife and I didn't buy each other gifts. I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for us or to take pity on us. Our decision had nothing to do with finances or the economy. It wasn't because we were having marital problems. Quite the opposite. We decided to focus on what was important to us and to use the time that we would have spent shopping with each other. We didn't take a picture of the tree with the presents because what kind of message are we preserving for our children? When we look at that picture would we remember it as the year we spent time with a mother whose son and father were working out of state a thousand miles from home? Or would they remember it as the year the presents over took the tree?

As mentioned we took dinner to a friend who was home alone. We went bowling! Our son who is quickly growing up had a blast. We laughed and played around. We learned how to curve the ball. Couldn't hit a pin but it sure looks cool. We had cheap bowling alley pizza for dinner. On the way home we didn't discuss how cool their toys were. we talked about how much fun we had. The thing I will always remember about Christmas '08 is on the way home that starry night is Connor telling us that it was his favorite Christmas because we spent time just playing together. I think we may have accidently started a new tradition.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-23T23:00:00.002-05:00

Dictionary.com defines thanksgiving as

–noun

1.	the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, esp. to God.

2.	an expression of thanks, esp. to God.

3.	a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor or kindness.

a day set apart for giving thanks to God.

As we get ready to consume a weeks worth of food in a 24 hour period and become so consumed with self I pray that we take time out to give thanks. This year i have come to realize how fortunate I truly am. God has blessed me with an amazing wife and two wonderful kids. This weekend I was able to enjoy special time with each one of them. I finally got a night out with my lady. We went to a new restaurant and just enjoyed some time together. Saturday I was able to see my son play his first game of the season. He had a double-double with 8 steals. He was amazing. Daddy's little girl climbed into his lap and let him brush her hair. I love playing with her hair. We are excited to spend the holiday with some friends and family.

My mind begins to wander into reality at this point. As i sit there and stuff my face I become oblivious to the fact that there are people all around me suffering. People all around us sitting alone at a table remembering when the family assembled a feast fit for a king on this day. Missing those that have passed away leaving them behind to go through life alone. The single mom whose family has disowned her because she will be a disgrace to the family name. The young girl who is being raised by her grandparents because her parents are both incarcerated for their crimes. The young boy, who sits in the midst of his brothers, that feels useless because he will never hear a kind word from his fathers mouth. We (I) become so self absorbed that we are blind to those around us.

As we scrape the excess off our plates and turn our nose up to the leftovers there is a man digging in the dumpster just to try to stumble across enough food to quiet the pains of an empty stomach or the mother that weeps because all she has to offer her children is some cereal and milk, no turkey, no pecan pie. So while I am thankful as I try to see the world through Christ eyes my heart breaks and tears fill my eyes. How can I selfishly be thankful for contributing to a self indulgent lifestyle? How can a part of the body celebrate while other parts suffer?

This year don't just give thanks but be a part of a solution. Invite someone to share your meal, make a plate for someone and deliver it. Give thanks and give yourself. I hope to post a success story on how my family made a difference.

God is Love!

Silent Screams!

2008-11-13T22:39:00.005-05:00

I sit here writing this feeling like I have had my heart ripped out of my chest and although it is still beating I lie here watching it beat feeling helpless and out of control. Numb with fear and yet filled with pain. Wanting to stand in the gap but paralyzed in fear. Trying to look for the light at the end of the tunnel but not sure I really want to crawl that far. Today I faced an attack that was far more painful than even the worst root canal.

We teach and talk about spiritual warfare as if it is a fairy tail and never really recognizing the battle that is being fought all around us. We try to wrap our thoughts around it but somehow the image that all to often we come up with is the cartoon angel and the prince of darkness whispering in our ear. We don't see the struggle of good and evil, the clouded thoughts, confusing voices, empty promises, or the feeling of being trapped. We don't think of the silent screams of desperation. We block out all these images because it is painful to think about, We don't want to be honest. The truth of the matter is it is real. There is a battle bigger than you or I .

Today this battle became very real to me. Real and unfair. Today started off as one of those mountain top experiences. It started yesterday with Chris Tomlin's God of this City repeating over and over on the iPod. Then through music in youth God was stirring. Sound went perfect which really helps me focus. When I was teaching I felt as if I had stepped over the drivers seat and someone else was placing the very words on my lips. But it continued after the service ended. People connected. God was stirring the hearts of the people. Several people, to which I can take NO credit for, said how what we talked about hit home. (Remember I said I felt as each and every word was placed on my lips) My son on the way home showed his appreciation for the message. He said how it was really good. Even told me I wasn't like a preacher when I spoke. This morning he led a prayer group at school. Daddy was and is extremely proud! A sixth grader willing to step up and lead. He was leading this group that rallied behind a cause dedicated to people fighting to make it out of dark desperate and desolate time of their lives.

I beamed with hope and joy seeing him impact in a passionate way the lives around him. I well up with tears of admiration and joy as I even think about it.

Too bad the story doesn't come to an abrupt end there. See that is when the battle began. How cruel and unfair. Satan seized and opportunity to attack. How would I love to shelter my son and protect him from this viscous attack. The very core of what he was standing for was attacked. He was fighting to give a voice to those who feel unloved, untouched, unwanted when thoughts of worthlessness flooded his being. He was shaken to the core. As parents we want to shelter our kids, denying God the opportunity of growing them, using them, molding them into the warrior they need to be. It tore Laura and I apart to be helpless bystanders. We prayed but never felt that was enough. Let me take the blows for him. We read in Romans 8:28 how ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him. But how? I know they do but how can you see good in this.

A lesser man would have opted out of the environment but thanks to someone taking time and speaking into his life he was ready to man up and face the world head on. He couldn't be silenced. Satan attacked him making him feel alone but because people who are willing to roll up their sleeves and get dirty he saw hope, and the very compassion he was showing was showered lavishly on him. So next year when he does this again he can speak with authority that love does change lives. He is a story of hope, promise, compassion, and VICTORY!

Ephesians 4:29

No worries!

2008-11-13T22:07:00.004-05:00

Group project for class! Enjoy!

And the winner is............

2008-11-04T23:41:00.003-05:00

You probably expected to see a picture of Obama here or another person ranting and raving about how the United States has damned itself to hell. Sorry to disappoint you. And no I didn't vote for Obama. This election was really hard for me to get excited about. I had issues with both candidates and even more issues with how so many "Christians" viewed God as endorsing either one of the candidates. I have been struggling trying to look at the Bible through a pure heart that doesn't bring any preconceived notions with it. One of the things that I have found intriguing is how God seems to work with governments that are less than desirable. Some of the greatest events in history took place while His people are in bondage. I am not saying we are the new chosen ones but what I am saying is I believe in the sovereignty of God. Not just in the good times but the bad times too. Is God limited by who we vote or don't vote into power? I think not.

It saddens me to see how excited and hateful we Christians got during this political season. We serve a risen King and should barely be able to contain our excitement to worship this King but instead we settle for singing a few songs and hearing a message. We should be both excited and humbled by this thought. Scripture tells us that the world will know us by our love for each other. Well what does the world know about us now. The internet is so full of Christians insulting each other because of which side of the fence we have camped on. Where is the love?

As i said before I have been really trying to connect in a way that I haven't been able to before because of all the baggage I had brought to the table with me. I have realized I serve one God, one King, one president if you will, and have no room to serve any other. Some may call this lunacy but I call it LOVE. Love for the risen Savior. I may not agree with everything the President does or thinks but I want to encourage you to pray for him. Pray for him as a human being who has an incredible amount of responsibility on his shoulders. Pray for him because he too is created in God's image, rather we agree with him or not.

Election Eve!

2008-11-03T22:40:00.003-05:00

I sit here on the eve of the Presidential election and find myself being a skeptic. I see people saying they are praying for the election to go the "right" way. I have noticed on facebook numerous people expressing their concern over the election by dedicating their status to the candidate of their choice. I sit here and wonder if maybe we have missed the point. I understand the importance of voting. Blah blah blah! I just think that maybe we should be concerned about our leader more than once every four years. Maybe we should pray for them on a regular basis. Not because he is President but because he is a man created in God's own image. I have heard all sorts of people saying I don't understand how important this election is, and this could be the most important election I might ever be involved in. I have heard people from both sides trying to convince me who to vote for. I love how Christians try to use issues saying this man is God's man. (As if He needs a man to do His will) One side tells me how Obama is worried about social justice so he has to be endorsed by God. The other side tells me McCain is the way to vote because he is antiabortion! I have so many other issues with both of these candidates and I haven't seen ANY evidence of God endorsing either party. I have even been told that if the wrong man is in the White House we could one day lose our right to worship?!? I do understand both sides of the argument but my views on worship have absolutely no connection to any form of government. I am thankful to live in a free country and appreciate each and every drop of blood that was shed to allow me to write openly and freely like this, however those drops of blood did not do near as much for mankind as one man's blood 2000 years ago.

So I encourage you to dedicate your loyalty to the one that matters. The one who four years from now will still be in charge. Go ahead and vote but remember our focus is not on man. No one can take away your ability to worship or serve God. Look throughout history. When Christianity is not easy it seems to rise to the occasion. If you feel the need to dedicate your status I encourage you to dedicate it to the King of Kings!

Looking at life through stained glass windows.

2008-10-27T23:12:00.002-04:00

I am currently taking the most thought provoking class of my academic career. The class is called the Life of Christ. Yea I know, should have been an easy class for a guy who has been in church for the majority of his life. How much more is there to really learn that hasn't been covered in Sunday School or a sermon. This class has challenged me to strip away the preconceived thoughts that I had about Christ and how he lived while on earth. In other words to throw out all the baggage we bring with us. The effects are troubling. We no longer can hide in the pews and feel safe. Thankfully this journey had started a few years earlier for me but others have had their cages rattled.

We have pretty much put the ways we do things under the microscope of scrutiny to see how our value system lines up with Christ. We have examined the way Christ lived, who He walked with, and how He taught those around. One of the most recent questions we had to ask ourselves was "how does the life of Christ and the values He clearly held and taught inform the way we engage culture? contextualize?" After going over this question in my mind I wrote this response. "We have done all these things to bring the world to us. We set up programs, fall festivals, Christmas plays, and the list goes on. We do all these community outreach events at our church with a come and see attitude expecting them to flood our services but fail to engage them where they are. I do not see a biblical example of this anywhere. I believe it tells us to GO. What if instead of planning our own events we were to be involved with their events? You know be Jesus to them where they are? Instead of creating our own culture embrace the culture we are already a part of. Stupid things such as handing out water at a local art show may actually allow us to teach in a much more profound way then having a hayride at our members only church meetings!" I am not saying these events don't serve a purpose but they can not take place of living a life of love. Living a life where we are called to LOVE. If we are to be the salt of the earth don't we have to be alive on this earth. It does not tell us to be the salt of the church. We have withdrawn to our churches and look out through stain glass windows at a world going to hell. It looks pretty as we view it through the colored glass that distorts the image of the single mom who struggles to put food on the table. Everything we see is bright and vibrant. We are so comfortable sitting in our pews and voting on a committee to recommend how we will help those with needs. We make ourselves feel better because we recognize a need. All the while afraid to get dirty. One student, Richard wrote a quote that we may not even begin to understand the truth of. "The problem however is that there are too many christian eunuch's that are either too afraid or unwilling to engage the culture." How true. We are so afraid of the culture we create our own. One that if we don't leave we feel safe.

What a weekend!

2008-10-19T23:45:00.004-04:00

We went to lakeland this weekend for our second annual trip to the Mirror Lake car show. The weather was warmer than it was supposed to be but much cooler than the previous weekend. We had a bunch of housework to do but sometimes you just need a break. Enjoy the pictures.

We then returned to Orlando for MelissaFest! It was amazing how many people turned out to support her and her family. She looked great and seemed to be handling the situation well. Her and her family are truly inspirations.

Dow drops and frankly I DON"T CARE!

2008-10-10T10:02:00.012-04:00

I got up early to hear the news at 5:30 a.m. predicting the Dow would fall 300 points upon opening today. They had financial analyst all over the place. Should we sell? Should we buy? Gold? Silver? How do we invest for the future? Are we headed to another depression? Who will bail us out? Obama? McCain? Should the government try and throw more money at it to try to disguise the problem? These were just a small sampling of the whirlwind of questions being shot around.

Does this scare you? Should it scare you? NOT ME! Maybe it is because I don't have a single dime invested into the markets? I am so sick and tired of hearing about the people who have invested thousands in the market only to lose big. I am equally disgusted with the people who refuse to get a job because they can't find anything that fulfills them. Or I have too much going on to get a full time job. I don't like my job. Quit your whining, make the best out of it. We, as americans have become a bunch of spoiled rotten, whining, babies. Easy for me to say right? I have a job, house, two kids, and only been married once! Well you know why I have those things and I am satisfied. It is easy. I have realized I am not in charge. Everything I have and am is dependent on my relationship with Christ. We still struggle but we don't stress. We worry but we do not let it consume us. I am at a job I absolutely hate, haven't got a raise in 5 years, when 10 weeks without a paycheck. I feel your pain. BUT I do not conform to your I deserve better than this attitude.

We have this idea, a perverted one at that, telling us we deserve to be taken care of. We whine when we get off schedule and eat lunch and hour late. We are envious of the new house that has more square footage than ours. We are not satisfied with a car we desire a Lexus. Not you? Look in your closet (mine too) several outfits? How about the shoes you are wearing, only pair? Just maybe they are, Praise GOD for them. That is one more pair than many third world kids have. We sit and watch the market fall and commiserate with people losing thousands as a mother holds her starving baby in her hands waiting for them to take their last breathe.

I am daily trying to understand what these verses look like when they are lived out...

Matthew 6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

We are also reminded that God takes care of the Sparrows so how much more does he care for us. No matter how bad the economy gets, no matter how financially strapped we are God is Good! If we focus on the kingdom the things of this earth seem to matter a little less!

It's gonna be a lovely day!

2008-09-18T09:49:00.002-04:00

What a difference a few days can make! This week has been like a roller-coaster ride for me. I happen to enjoy thrill rides but I wouldn't mind a break every now and then. I am currently studying the book of James and I am learning to find joy through trials.

I look forward to bumping into the person from my previous post and telling them I love them. Yea, I a hurt BUT i have forgiven them. They have not asked for it and probably do not even know that I know they did it. Doesn't matter. I am striving to learn to love unconditionally so God has placed this person in my life to be loved. It is my jagged little pill to swallow. It stings all the way down but because Christ loved me I can learn to love. After all, how many times could He have called me a backstabber?

You know who you are!

2008-09-14T23:36:00.003-04:00

You're sorry
You said it yourself and we believe you
(no we really do!)
Now no one is going to save you now!
Backstabber! Backstabber!
When you're in disguise

You're laughing
Cause they laugh at you
Then you scream out to all the empty pews
And No one is going to save you now!

Backstabber! Backstabber!
When you're in disguise

Now go and pray to your God inside!
Cause if you never knew, little boy it's you.
You can't use me! You won't use me!

Backstabber! Backstabber!
When you're in disguise

Lyrics to Backstabber by Jonezetta

You know who you are! It tears you a part to see someone else succeed as you fall flat on your face. You hate the fact that it comes so naturally. You try to become something you are not just to try to fit in. You preach with hollow words. You try to connect but find yourself all alone. You try so hard to become something they will like, but do you even like yourself. You look me in the face and wish me luck only to shove the knife in my back as I turn around. You aren't happy leaving well enough alone. You are on a mission to TRY and seek and destroy. You see me as a threat to your own future.

Well as you lay flat on your face look up and watch me as I continue to move forward. I move effortlessly unaffected by your attempts. I continue to be true to myself, something you don't understand. I teach without words. I am connected with love. I am accepted for who I am not when I pretend. I pull the knife out and hand it back. You are your own demise. I am on a mission to seek and feed. You were the controller of your own future.

You see you were so worried about what I was doing you lost sight of your own life. As you spend time in the car may these words ring over and over. Learn from your own mistakes. You were more worried about the dust in my eye and were blinded by the tree in yours. Realize who the enemy is and whose team you are on. Their is no room for lone rangers in this business.

Disturbed!

2008-09-14T22:58:00.002-04:00

The longer I am in church work the more I understand two things. I see why the average time for a pastor to stay at a church is less than two years. The second is I now see why our churches are not growing. In the short 9 months I have been in my current position has been some of the most exhausting time of my life. It is amazing how much you come under attack from Satan. Just when you think you can come up for a breather the attacks start again in full fury.

So many pastors can't stay at a church for more than two years because of their need to protect their families. The attacks that pastors and staff have to endure take their toll. From taking time from the family to the family actually having to weather the attacks it can become too much to bare sometimes.

Free Gift!

2008-09-06T17:58:00.006-04:00

This was just too funny not to write about. I was doing homework and the doorbell rang. We were not expecting company so we knew it had to be door to door salesman. The Mormon's seem to jump over our house every time.(Maybe that is due in part to me sharing my faith with them last time they knocked?) So my wife and I played rock, paper, scissors to see who would answer the door. I picked paper, she had scissors so you know what that means. I lost. I went to answer the doors and was greeted by two overly perky, sweaty, salespeople. I say people because it was a man and woman and they both looked like they had been doing this for most of the day. They introduced themselves and told me they were from the brand new vacuum cleaner store. They handed me a free air freshener. Sweet. I told them I didn't need a vacuum cleaner. I resisted the urge to tell them the one we had sucks. Once realizing that I was not a potential customer they asked for their $.97 air freshener and off they went leaving me empty handed at the door.

Moral of the story...There is only one free gift in life!

WHY ME?

2008-09-04T15:21:00.004-04:00

I got home from church and got an update that I had once again ticked someone off. I figured that I offended someone with challenging them to have some "huevos" and stand up for what they believe. Or possibly my slip and instead of saying PSP I said PCP. These would have been expected, but that is not what I found. I had ticked someone off because I was doing too much for the church. They were tired of having to share me with other people. This caught me slightly off guard. It honestly troubled me most of the day. I was still spending more time with the very group that was complaining. I am sometimes there when none of them show up. I am continually inviting people to that group (something I don't do for the others). Some people may find this quite flattering, after al,l we all want to be liked. We all like to be needed. It reminds me of a classic middle school fight with the girl being competed for by all the guys in the class. It has disturbed me. What have I done? I am trying to point everything I do to a relationship with Jesus. Not me! I am a screw up. I will let you down. I fail. I am not worth your loyalty. It is important that I try to connect with every person I come in contact with but I feel like I have left them empty still searching not connecting to God. I hope they see through this mess of a man and see Jesus!

Breaking News!

2008-09-02T19:16:00.001-04:00

Your Vote will be appreciated!

I Ruined Christmas!

2008-09-01T22:11:00.004-04:00

I may have ruined Christmas for a lot of people this year. I have been on a journey recently and now that I am taking a class entitled "Life of Christ" I have went deeper into this path that I have been on. It all began for me just thinking about how we use the Bible as a Nursery Rhyme book for our children. If we really read and understand this story we would understand the scene was terrifying. As the water began to rise people would be banging on the door to get in. They begin having to tread water as it rises higher and higher, they climb trees hoping the water will quit rising but it doesn't. As the trees disappear you may still be able to hear a couple of people who found something to float with screaming for their lives. Not the same story that we are use to.

Fast forward>> We re-enter the scene with a teenage girl who is engaged. She is pregnant. The law calls for her to be stoned. How scared must she have been. The young girl was in fear of her life. Fast Forward again. She gives birth to this child in a dirty stable. Our Christmas cards make it look more like a Marriott than a place where dirty animals were kept. She gave birth during a time when her country was occupied by the enemy. Not the best time to give birth to a Savior but it happened. Then by time the child is two there is a command to kill all males under the age of two so they must flee and go into hiding.

We celebrate Christmas with our pretty cards and extravagant gifts and distance ourselves from the true story. We have flannel board Jesus images so ingrained into our minds that is the way it must have been. We forget that he came during a brutal time of history. We skip over the verses we don't understand or that become uncomfortable for us. We say we don't understand because we are afraid we might actually understand. We have taken Easter and have a happy little bunny hopping around in order not to remember the brutality of the Roman form of the death penalty. We view the cross as an object of beauty when in reality it was one of the most cruel torture devices ever created. My intentions are not to ruin a holiday but to cause us to focus on the purpose of the holiday! Make us appreciate the sacrifice even more.

Don't think they ever expected for us to see the cross like this!

Shiny red ball!

2008-08-31T13:48:00.004-04:00

Today was amazing! Our new pastor did a short Children's message and then dismissed us. I really liked this because the children felt important but it also forced the church to notice these guys. It seems that every week our children's service gets a little better. Every week things flow better and the children seem to respond better. Today we talked about how God would never leave us. Some of these guys have nothing stable in their life. Some bounce between parents and others between parents and grandparents like a giant shiny red rubber ball with no course or direction. We talked about how Christ leads us through the good and bad days of life. How he will be with us all through life. The children seemed eager to grab on to some form of stability in their lives.

Youth and college were great! God is continuing to bless both groups. Numbers are up as well as the total vibe of the group. God is good.

Just passing by!

2008-08-31T01:10:00.002-04:00

I have never been the most popular person in the world and have a good amount of people I would call friends but very few that I would say were "good" friends. Many times we pass through each others life and as time passes so do the days between our conversations. This is not a pre-planned move but life just happens. I hate how busy life keeps us sometimes. Between work, school, and church I get so occupied that I have no time to develop and maintain relationships. It takes all I have to nurture my relationship with my family.

I am trying to change that. Through media like facebook, twitter, and myspace it has become much easier to keep in touch. God has placed people around me that I want to have as lifelong friends. I want to continue to grow closer with these people. I enjoy when we laugh together, joke with each other, or have good conversations. I look forward to being amazed by what God will do in their futures. I anticipate conversations about how God is using us in various areas.

I may not ever win a popularity contest but I have some of the coolest people anywhere in my life!

Quality not quantity!

Life of Christ!

2008-08-30T01:30:00.003-04:00

I really wanted to drop this class because I hate group projects. I even went to school with every intention of dropping the class. Well obviously I didn't. The teacher said the magic words for me. He wanted this class to stretch us and make us think. He had me from that point. I have been in this quest to dump all the things I have been taught that may not have come from the Bible but somehow filtered their way into my theology through Church. I am not some arrogant fool who thinks I have it all figured out or that there is some new better Gospel. I just have come to find out that unfortunately I have allowed some persons interpetation of Scripture influence my belief system.

I grew up in a traditional Southern Baptist church (that I still dearly love) but had some great teachers who mixed in their personal beliefs in with their lesson. Difference is I don't blame them. I have the same Bible they do but do to my own failures I was not doing my part in studying scripture. Anyway, I have struggled for the last year with issues such as the death penalty, war, and our inability to love the lost.

I had been taught to be for the death penalty. They were getting what they deserved. Then this crazy guy Paul says in Romans that the wages of sin is death. Of course he was only referring to big sins, right? But even before that the whore at the well, Jesus had to go and mess up my theology and spare her life. According to Jewish law it was required for her to be stoned. So if we are told to love as Christ loved us how can I consciously say that the death penalty is God's way of dealing with crime?

War. Touchy subject I know but here it goes. I have friends over there right now and I support them and pray a hedge of protection around them. I don't know if I can say I am for the war though. I am not some peace sign wearing hippie but Christ was born into a time when Israel was under Roman rule. They were prisoners in their own land. Did he lead a rebellion? Did he pick up weapons and make a stand. He was quite the opposite. So much so that as he was riding the donkey into town they laid palm branches (a symbol of peace) down for him to enter town.I think we can say he wasn't all about war.

The church has suppose to have been the tool used to draw in the lost. Listen to this and tell me if you would come to church. I was recently involved in a conversation where a group was deciding to grant membership to a person. She was refused because she was currently living with her boyfriend. She was honest and disclosed the information but if she would have LIED and hid it she would be welcome. We accept those who will only sin in private or do the micro sins. No wonder our churches are falling apart. Good thing Jesus doesn't break off fellowship with us for sinning.

If we are gonna call ourselves Christians let us at least know what Christ did!

Take the blame!!!

2008-08-28T15:58:00.002-04:00

We as leaders in our churches are quick to blame the people for being shallow. I believe that we must shoulder some of the blame for their lack of spiritual depth. We don't have the guts to speak out and say what needs to be said because we are afraid to be honest. We throw out crap for our messages and expect depth. We spend little or no time nurturing relationships with those around us. Then we whine because the people are shallow. We do not model our lives in a way that compels people to follow Christ.

Sorry for a short post but had to get that off my chest!

God is still love!

2008-08-13T01:11:00.004-04:00

Tonight has been a heck of a night for me. As a minister there are some things I don't think I will ever be ready to handle. I am already an emotional guy. Actually, I am a big cry baby at times. For crying out loud, every time I hear "Here I Am To Worship" I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. So obviously there are some things that tear me apart.

My wife got the call that a former student who we became fairly close to and grew close to her parents was in a very serious car accident. I new what we needed to do but dreaded the very thought of it. Unfortunately I have had to deal with this before. I remember like yesterday getting the call about my best friend and his wife getting killed in a car accident. I remember all the emotions that flooded through me. I can remember being in Maitland when I got the call that Monica had fallen off a golf cart and was in ICU in bad shape. I remember walking right into ICU like I knew what I was doing in order to see her. I remember getting the call again that Monica was in a horrible accident again years later. This time God was calling her home. I remember looking at her as she lay their. So young and so much to live for. I remember asking Why God? God you have screwed up. I remember when I received the call that Dr. Stephens passed away. God what the heck are you doing? I still wonder but who do I think I am to question God. I can't even make a good cup of coffee and I am going to question God.

Tonight as Melissa clings to life, fighting to breath on her own I no longer question God I turn it all over to him. I don't know His ways, I don't see the big picture but I understand that I serve a powerful, loving, sovereign God. I pray yes for a miracle but I also pray for His will. I do not pray selfishly, but out of hope. I pray for the family to be Comforted.

The Wait Is Over!

2008-08-12T08:19:00.003-04:00

Well the church I have been serving at has been without a pastor for about 9 months and I personally have been without a pastor for over 2 years. I know the the pastor is not responsible for our spiritual lives but as a ministry student it is nice to have someone to turn to for advice. I personally am not a huge fan of how the process of finding a new pastor is done in the Baptist world. I, however, do not know of a better way to do it and understand I serve a sovereign God. Being on staff this is a scary time. Let's be honest there is a lot that can go wrong. It is not at all uncommon for pastors to bring their own team with them. What if our personalities clash? What if he wants to take the church down a different path? What if our theology differs? What if?

What if, you have the same vision, want the same thing for the church, have the same theology? I am so excited to work with this man. I was nervous because I had only been able to speak with him for a grand total of 10 minutes before he was voted in. I have just begun what I pray is a long ministry at this church that has stolen my heart when it could all be over before it got started. Sure I heard his speeches and even a sermon but how much can you know about a guy from those. Sunday night after the youth service I was finally able to go to dinner with him and his family.

I can not wait for him to get back. Our theology matches. Our views on how to do ministry match. The direction he wants to go with our church is on the same path I have been trampling. He loves the younger generation but doesn't do it at the expense of the current church. He even wants to participate in youth events! I am so excited. We talked about everything and I honestly believe we got one heck of a man for our little country church. When we were both considering Lockhart one keyword stuck out in our conversations with the church. CHANGE! We are both excited and confident about the chance to help a church break new ground.

Be ready for BIG things in the future of this little country church!

Mac

2008-08-06T00:15:00.002-04:00

I just got my Mac last month and can't get the darn thing to turn on. I have an appointment on Thursday for the Genius Bar to fix it. It is under warranty so I am not to worried I just want it back!

The youth group is still at camp and I am missing them greatly but look forward to having the college guys together tomorrow night.

Long day!

2008-08-04T18:14:00.002-04:00

Well my youth group left today for camp. I should be with them but I just got the job 2 weeks ago and couldn't get the time off to go with them. They have only been gone for 18 hours and I already miss them. No myspace or facebook chats with them! No text! This is going to be a long week.

I pray that this week will be a life changing experience for them. I pray that they will come back fired up and ready to make a difference. I pray for their safe and speedy return!

Free Ride

2008-08-04T00:13:00.002-04:00

I want to vomit! I am so sick of people thinking they deserve a free ride in life. People reading this will automatically assume I am talking about the poor but I am not. I learned a valuable lesson while working with the poor. Many of them are more unselfish than the average middle class suburbia family. I am referring to people who expect something because they ask for it. I am a Christian and have a need and you are a Christian and can meet that need so it is your spiritual duty to meet that need. BULL CRAP!!!! You are not owed a darn thing. First of all most of our needs are nothing more than selfish want. Many more times we live in a society that says if you want it you will get it. We have forgotten the concept of having to work for what we want. During Christ earthly ministry he walked around loving on people not with his American Express card in his wallet.

I hate History!

2008-08-03T23:58:00.002-04:00

My wife is a teacher and I actually love history in that sense. I love seeing how we can learn about where we came from. I like learning about ancient civilizations. That is not what I am referring to.

Why do we feel the need to live in the past when it relates to our churches or our spiritual lives. Most the time when someone is ranting and raving about this they are referring to an addict and his/her inability to let the addiction go. I am referring to people who feel the need to hang on to the glory days. This is how we have done it in the past, or I remember when. Let it GO and move forward. If we have already reached our pinnacle then lets shut the doors! Why do we even try if we feel the best is behind us? Love where we have been but love where we are going. Paul fought this same battle asking the early church why they would want to go back to the old way.

There is a saying that some things never change. Maybe that is because we get in the way of change!

Falling!

2008-07-30T23:30:00.001-04:00

Today was an awesome day! I woke up to find 2 deer in the front yard. I was able to stand and watch them for quite some time. I love being out in the middle of nowhere and enjoying nature.

We went to Anna Ruby falls today. What a great park.The trail up to the falls was a well mantained paved walkway. It is a 1/2 mile hike but well worth it when you make it to the top. It is simply breathtaking. We saw rainbow trout in the river on the way up. I am pretty sure there are a good number of snakes living in the area. They had several signs along the trail warning you. When we first arrived I found this couple and soon a crowd grew to watch and interrupted them. We saw several species of butterflies that were fairly cooperative and posed for some pictures.

After leaving the park we stopped by Fred's Peanut Stand.It has been there for over 30 years and you can sample a ton of local foods. They have frozen peach cider which hit the spot after the hike.

Tomorrow we plan on tubing down the Chatahoochee River, mining for rubies and riding horses.

Beautiful Day!

2008-07-29T10:25:00.011-04:00

We got to our cabin yesterday after we stopped and had lunch with an old friend. We ate at Cracker Barrel so the food was great. It was really nice to catch up with him. He has started a new church in Douglasville.

It was great to hear stories of his church and how they are reaching so many people who have never been to church before. I hope some day to be able to be a part of a church plant and enjoyed hearing all the blessings and struggles first hand.

We got to our cabin and wow. It is amazing. Laura did a great job finding such a great deal. It was much cheaper than a hotel and simply beautiful. Today we are going into town and seeing the penalty for not vacating the premises when our rental agreement is up. We are hoping it takes at least 30 days to evict.(J/K) But it is that nice.

We ate at the Helen House. It is a brand new restaraunt in downtown. The food was better than anything seen on Food Network. The owner came out and apologized because he only had two of the three meats. (It was family style dining so they just bring you out a ton of everything) He said he would give us our meal at half price! SCORE!!! They were out of the yellowtail catfish. Some people eating at another table offered us one of their filets. It was very good. This would never happen back home in Florida. People are so much nicer up here.

We made our way back home with enough time to enjoy a soak in the hot tub before listening to a thunderstoerm as we went to bed!

Ouch!!!!!

2008-07-28T00:44:00.003-04:00

Well I haven't been skating for quite some time. I went for the first time in what seems like an eternity on Saturday night. It is sort of like riding a bike. Once you learn you won't forget. The only part is that doesn't guarantee you won't fall. You guessed it. I busted my rear. Actually I was trying to show off. Yes me, show off and do something stupid. I decided to use my body to slow down Mr. I Own My Own Blades and Mr. I Have My Own Personal Locker. I never took into consideration these two over zealous show offs could hurdle a body thrown in front of them that was suppose to act like a human speed bump. I went down and he went over. It was fun at the time but now I have a bruise on my knee and a hole in my ego.

It was a great night. I met some great people. (Anastasia was by far the coolest). I got to know some of the girls better.(Faith & Marae) Watched Corley keep Corinna out of trouble. (not really) The best guys in the world. Joe and Tyler are the fearless duo. They are always there to lend a hand. Jimmy kept me updated on the race (except the last 8 laps). Brian is gonna teach me how to bowl. Mike was out there getting numbers from older guys. Steven rolled around there showing us he could be a good friend. Morgan drug her mom around the rink and always had a smile. Connor made sure someone requested some decent music. Then we had the cheer squad made up of the adults that would rather laugh at everyone falling then fall themselves.

It was a great night and I hope everyone had a blast and I can't wait until we do it again.

What a week!

2008-07-19T10:44:00.005-04:00

This week the youth/children's pastor at the church where I am the college and young adult pastor resigned. I have been helping with these two groups since my first day (and was the VBS director) so I volunteered to fill in. Since then I was told I would be more than filling in. I would also now lead these two areas. I am so fortunate.

If you know me at all you know in the last couple years I have really seen the need for serving/loving others. Well I wasted no time. The first thing we did was to wash our churches bus. I know this isn't the same as feeding the starving children of a third world country but it is still service. 14 of the best kids in the world showed up to clean our bus. This is amazing since I never told them what they were doing. I told them to bring a dirty rag and plan on getting wet. Of course, we couldn't just wash the bus. We had a slip-n-slide as well as a messy relay race.

This was a great evening. I look forward to many more outings with these guys. God is going to change the look of our youth group in big ways.

180

2008-07-13T23:26:00.001-04:00

How a few hours can change your outlook on life. I will just leave it at that. Shortest post ever!

Taking a break!

2008-07-13T16:47:00.004-04:00

I was going to try to be on here a little more often, but some situations that I have unfortunately been involved in lately have caused me to not have the desire to blog. I will not use this as my forum to vent so if I have nothing good to say I won't say anything. Everytime I sit down to write I am full of disgust! I do not understand how people can call themselves Christians, but live like the devil himself. We, as Christians, are called to set ourselves apart, but far too many times no one can tell the difference between us and the world. We say we want the world to know about our relationship with our Savior so we put on a front and show them while we are in public, but behind closed doors we live like someone on the highway to hell. We act so surprised that the world sees through this. Then, as Christians, when we see this cycle we don't have the balls to confront the issue. We twist scripture and say it is not our place to judge, even though Matthew tells us to confront the issue and eventually commands us to break fellowship with these people. I am all for restoration of a repenting believer, but without repentance there is no restoration.

How much different and safer would our churches be if we had a few more people with enough balls or who cared enough to stand up for what is right instead of what is easy? They are in our churches, but we have quieted them or paid them no attention.

Stronger Than Hell!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-29T15:56:00.005-04:00

Last night I finally got to see one of - if not my favotite - bands...finally. It was amazing. Being over-anxious, Connor and I got theire earlier than we needed to so we went and hung out at Virgin Megastore. Much to our surprise most of the bands were in there wandering around the aisles looking for some more music to listen to on the bus. Respecting their right to be normal people we decided not to be star struck. (We would save that for later.) We decided it was time to get in line. This is a well-planned maneuver. You can't be the first gut in line because you are labeled a dork, nor do you want to be too far back and not make it through the first group let in. (Who wants to stand in the heat longer than you have to?) Then the skies let loose. We ran for cover. After a short storm we went to reclaim our position in line. We planned it perfectly. We were the last people in the first wave to be allowed in. The same rules do not apply to the merch tables. (They probably do ,but I don't care. I was getting a shirt whether I would be labeled a dork or not.)

I was exposed to a new band, The Advent. Their set was clean but what impressed me most was their willingness to share their faith from the stage. If you know me, you know that I am a sucker for lyrics. Their lyrics are solid and his testimony was amazing. I found this refreshing when there are so many bands who would rather sell albums than share their faith. Connor wanted to meet the band so we went to their merch table and the lead singer took the time to talk to him and talk about the songs on their album and share his faith more. I was so impressed I bought their album and a t-shirt for Connor. He signed the album for Connor, wrote a verse on it and encouraged Connor to look it up.

I will skip the other bands except for the mention that Living Sacrifice was amazing. I anticipate their new album coming out in early 09.

Demon Hunter was amazing. Their set was flawless. They opened with Storm The Gates of Hell. The pit was intense and grew feverishly as they belted out song after song. My son decided to make dad proud and shoved his way through the crowd to make his way into the pit. As they separated getting ready for the "wall of death" I pulled him away. They sound as good live as they do on their album. Bruce from Living Sacrifice came out for the song Sixteen. AMAZING!!! In an attempt to keep this post from dragging on I will wrap this up by saying after show the band came out to hang with fans. They posed for pictures, signed autographs and just hung out. I had an amazing time.

Enjoy life's Garbage!

2008-06-26T13:39:00.003-04:00

I have been having to deal with things that have cost me a lot of sleep and headaches. These have been some of the biggest decisions in my life so far. They have not been easy. They have been quite painful. Sometimes doing the right thing can be very costly. Sometimes monetarily, sometimes emotionally, sometimes both. Sometimes life's garbage affect a lot of people differently.

I was doing some studying of the book of James and God taught me something HUGE. We have all heard we grow through the tough times. We all have seen this within our own lives. But in verse two it says to consider it joy when this garbage is dumped in our lives. Webster defines joy as: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. So we are supposed to delight in lifes trials. WOW!!!

Stepping back and looking at this from a new perspective I can thank God for the oppurtunity to go through this. To be able to have the opportunity to help someone if they are willing to reach out. To draw close to God and pray. To have been given the chance to be in this experience that will have a positive outcome in His timing. To surround myself with Godly people to encourage me. I still can't say I will be able to embrace trials when they arrive, but I will try to meet them with a knowledge that God is using them to His glory.

When life gives you lemons dont just make lemonade. Enjoy the sweet smell of fresh juice as you squeeze the lemon. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment!

Bittersweet Memories

2008-06-26T13:27:00.003-04:00

VBS is finally over! This is a bittersweet time for me. I was exhausted from the countless hours that have been put in, but I am going to miss the time with the children. I have nightmares of Jeff Slaughter leading worship at my church, but miss seeing the kids enjoying worship. I am tired of wearing tacky shirts, but enjoyed the shorts and flip-flops. Won't miss the six foot tall pineapple staring at me, but the atmosphere and the excitement cannot be manufactured. So, yes, I am enjoying the breath of fresh air, but miss the refreshing sound of kids praising God.

What a job God did with VBS! I cannot take any of the credit. I had no idea what I was doing or even what I would say to the kids some nights until it was coming out. I was fortunate to have the most awesome helpers ever. Not too many, not too few. God gave us every piece to the puzzle and they fit together to paint the most beautiful picture. Kids made decisions, parents were reminded of our responsibilities and workers grew through their own studies.

On a roll!

2008-06-23T23:51:00.004-04:00

Three nights in a row! Tonight was yes another VBS night. I thank God for using me and giving me the ability to connect with these precious children. So many of us look back at our childhoods as a very formative time in our life. I am blessed to know that I am playing a part in forming some principles in the children's lives that will always be dear to them.

Most of us made our decisions early on in life about our direction to accept the idea of God or reject it. So many times we made these decisions at a camp or a VBS or some other function at a church. Sure our theology has changed but we hold onto the early truths we were taught. I am in a small church who doesn't have all the bright lights and fancy sets but we have done good. Realize the kids put a lot less stock in those items than we do. The kids want to be loved on and know it.

As I strive to be more Christlike I find myself falling more in love with the children of our church. You know the ones who climb over the pews or talk in the prayer. Yes they need to learn things but when they do they are so authentic. They don't sing loud so the lady two rows in front of them will admire their voice. They don't look around to see who is watching them place the money in the offering plate when it is passed. They do it because they are being obedient to Scripture. They are obeying Scripture out of a love for God. Not a distorted love of God but because they truly understand what it means to love God.

Day Two!

2008-06-22T23:59:00.002-04:00

Two days in a row! This hasn't happened forever. I had a blast tonight. Everything clicked. I found out this morning I was taking over Children's church! BIG changes are in store. I am so excited and I hope the kids are ready for a change. After finding this out it made the evening that much sweeter. I absolutely love working with the children. There are always those couple of kids that try your patience but tonight my goal was to get them to connect. They did. The cool kid who normally refuses to participate actually did. I was able to have time to sit down and share with these guys. My teachers have been amazing. I hate that we are already halfway through.

More tomorrow..............

VBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-21T22:33:00.003-04:00

I figured once I was done with school I would be on here a lot more. I was gravely mistaken. This summer has been ridiculously busy. From falling off ladders to running a VBS (never having worked one before) I have had no time to breathe much less compose anything worth reading.

The first night is over and we may not have set any attendance records but we had two families who were new to the area. With the lack of advertising we did I am pleased with the turnout. There is something so refreshing seeing innocent children worship. They know nothing of the politics of the church (nor do they care). They aren't concerned about the version of Bible read to them or what denomination they are. They want to worship God for who He is not because of who they are or who is watching. They truly want there friends to enjoy this with them and will invite whomever to experience Christ with them. Then unfortunately some of them will grow content and remain in the same church never to share Christ with a soul.

Me and my BIG mouth!

2008-05-23T08:50:00.005-04:00

I have always been told my mouth would get me in trouble. Back in elementary school I was the kid that had a question for everything. I believe that every report card said I was a good kid but just couldn't keep quiet. Well I did it this time.

I have told way too many people that I want God to open and close doors in my life but I wanted them thrown off the hinges or slammed shut so there would be no mistaking my selfish desires for His will. Crap! I think he was in on one of these conversations.

I have been convicted on the need to share not only my faith but in encouraging others to share theirs. Well I have been toying around with the thought of trying to teach people on how to be more comfortable in doing this. Hold up! This is not a push for E.E. or F.A.I.T.H. or any other SBC form of Tuesday night door to door evangelizing. (I still do not know why Tuesday has become the official night). I grew up with this mentality and have never been able to embrace it. I have always felt like a salesperson who should carrying a briefcase with a plethora of tracts and asking which one would you like. I have a Jesus tract for the single mom or one for the grumpy teenager. I always felt so much pressure to "close the deal". We would always meet back at the church and see who had the "best response" and who was insulted the most.

I have been given statistic after statistic saying how the church isn't growing because the church isn't reaching out. I was turned on to a newer form of evangelism only to find out it has been around for some 2000 years. It even predates E.E. and the life/death tract. It has recently been labeled relational evangelism or lifestyle evangelism. One man has even coined it as BBQ evangelism. Well, I have been trying to figure out a way to introduce this to my church and if God didn't set me up. During our informal staff meeting Wednesday night I was approached to lead my church in this area. There is a door that was completely thrown off the hinges! I had not shared this burden with anyone and yet God had shared it.

I was upfront and said I was not a fan of door to door Jesus marketing and that if I do it I want to have a class showing people they have opportunities in front of them everyday. I have all but officially accepted this added position and have begun to get extremely excited. I am hoping to get a small group together and go through Contagious Christianity with them and start a shift in the way we go about our lives together. I want to empower them and show them through scripture how this is an effective means and that we have been given the power to do this.

Few and Far Between!

2008-05-23T08:20:00.003-04:00

I have really been trying to get on here more often but life has been busy lately and will remain this way for some time to come. Thank God vacation is in early July. Good news is school is out for the summer and I must brag a little. I earned a 100 on my apologetics final. I stressed about this class endlessly because I do not always see things the way everyone else does.

I am in a very traditional Southern Baptist Church. Yes that is where God has led me and I am for the most part extremely happy to be there. I always hoped to be at a super contemporary-post modern church that was pushing the envelope but God in His infinite wisdom or because He has a sense of humor sent me to a church that is a textbook example of your grandmothers church. I am so thankful for this because I know it is God who has placed me here. I have had so many oppurtunities to share new ways of thinking and doing things. The college group is amazing. I love these guys. We have done things that no one in the church's history has even attempted. I have asked them to come out of their comfort zone and experience what Christ meant by loving others. They are great.

It is easy to see the complacency among our church. Not just in one area but across the board. The great news is my guys have felt comfortable bringing their unchurched friends to our midweek group. Then it happened. Someone came in and stirred the pot. I love these people. Really I do. Someone felt these people were to lost to be at church and in our typical self righteous Christian ego we make them feel uncomfortable only to have them left with the bitter taste in their mouth that they will always associate with Christ. I pray that these people will be back and bring swarms of their friends with them. Bring all their lost, worldly, broken friends so we can show them Christ unconditional love rather they accept Him or not!

What an AWESOME day!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-16T23:28:00.002-04:00

I have been so busy lately I couldn't come up for air. Between church, school, and family I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Well everything got better today. I still have all the same commitments but was rewarded greatly today for all the hard work I have been putting in.

I don't like to brag but I am going to for a minute. School is tough for me to juggle. Since my family sacrifices to put me through school I have tried to maintain a high GPA but found that very unfulfilling. I was just memorizing junk and regurgitating it for test. Easy A's but what was the point if I was not bettering myself through what was being taught. I still try to maintain the high average (and have been able to maintain it)but decided to focus on learning and not memorising. Today I got the results for two of my exams. I freaking got a 100 on the one I thought was the toughest. This was an all essay exam so I didn't just memorize and spit it back out! This semester I also received a 99 on a paper about church conflict. Some may say no big deal but I pride myself on understanding the subject and being able to apply portions of it to everyday life.

So now that I have tooted my own horn let me toot my wife's. For the first time in her teaching career someone has appreciated her hard work and willingness to go above and beyond. How nice that is after seeing people abuse her good nature and tear her down. It is a nice change to see her appreciated instead of abused. It is amazing how things work out when you consistently surrender to God. You stand up for what is right no matter who is wrong and sometimes God allows you to see justice here on earth. Good job baby!

Tough day!

2008-04-22T23:13:00.003-04:00

Ever had one of those days when you knew you should have stayed in bed? Today was that day for me. My work vehicle is still out of commission so I get the privilege of being chauffeured around by my bosses son. His driving sucks. I admit that their are few people I am comfortable riding with. I know not many people can drive as skillfully as myself but I don,t honestly think there has been a single time he hasn't nailed at least one curb while riding with him. Today was no exception. This doesn't occur when we are parking. Cointreau mu fair. We are driving and he nails it. Not brushes but totally violates the poor innocent concrete victim. Both front and rear tires take their turn rolling over the curb and the left rear barely avoids contact. There was a lot more to my ride of death but I will leave it at that.

God though intended on me ending the day on a high note. I am really trying to be "greener" and have always enjoyed nature and gardening. I decided to treat my untamed wilderness of a backyard to a long overdue pedicure. My son (who has held snakes big enough to eat him) found a rabbit in the backyard. We have a wild rabbit munchin on some gruubage,buddy! (Pauly Shore influence) It was great. the rabbit was a little freaked out but cool to watch.
I then noticed my much neglected pineapple plant has a baby pineapple growing from the center of it. I am hoping this fruit will mature and the rabbit avoids it leaving me a tasty snack.

Then the Lord gave me a beautiful sunset to enjoy. Thank you Lord!

The Outsiders

2008-04-18T08:43:00.006-04:00

I love to always be different. My musical taste, however diverse they may be, are definetly not the norm. My sense of art, quite different than most. I relax by mowing the yard. I retreat to the noisy places in order to hear myself think. I have never been into all the popular trendy shows. (American Idol, Survivor, CSI) Refused to conform in order to be in the target audience. Maybe that is why I loved the book The Outsiders. I was forced to read it in high school and refused to allow myself to enjoy it. I still manage to love it and find myself years later reflecting on the book and some of the quotes in it.

There is a quote (I don't remember it exactly, its been a few years)about how you can see sunsets from both the rich side and poor side of town and they are still beautiful. Maybe this is where my fascination with sunsets came from. I could (and have made family members) watch the sunset on the horizon basking in the warm pink/orange glow as it fades from view. The whole point of the sunset in the book is rather you are rich or poor the sunsets are the same.

How true that is. I know I have talked about the men of the church having been neutered and sunsets are not very masculine but I disagree. But what do I know I also own a teacup chihuahua that plays dress up! But the sunsets are the same. Supposedly we have come so far as a society, as the human race but I sometimes if we don't feel that our sunsets are not better than someone else's because we feel we are better. I have never been much of a social activist and always felt that it was someone else's job to worry about. I guess through growing in my walk with Christ I have changed my tone quite a bit. I can't change the world but there are things I can do. I can start by changing my habits. I am trying to be more economically friendly. I am recycling more. I even bought some cloth bags for shopping.

I may not be able to financially support all the organizations that pull at my heart but I can try to raise awareness of them. My heart breaks for those who suffer around the world but also in our own backyard. I pray that God will somehow in His master plan provide me ways to minister to these people and share His love. There are those in our own neighborhoods that have never felt His love.

I recently became aware of a situation in Africa and would like to share their struggle in order that we all can join in prayer for these innocent lives. This pulls on your heartstrings especially if you are a father. Follow this link and learn more. www.cifkids.org

Sleepless in Apopka!

2008-04-15T08:28:00.002-04:00

What a night! I was pretty much up all night with my mind jumping from one thought to the next. I wish I could just turn the old thinking cap off at times. Thoughts raced around my mind like cars on I-4.

Some were thoughts about how dysfunctional of a society we have become and how this is creeping into the church and destroying it. As we look at many of the families within our churches we see how dysfunctional they really are. For years many of us have said that our church was our family. Now even the church has taken on a dysfunctional appearance. Then we try to tell others that if they would only accept Christ they would have a better life. We expect them to have a healthy living relationship with Christ, someone you can't physically interact with, when we can't have a healthy relationship with each other.

My mind drifted everywhere last night but I spent a good amount of time thinking about relationships. I have already stated that I believe we see more and more dysfunctional relationships but I think we also see more and more relationships that are leaving people feeling empty. The results of this are divorce. I am not here to bash on divorce or even take sides. I am saying relationships are leaving us feeling like we are missing something. This is so prevalent in Baptist churches that many of them have begun to allow divorce men to be deacons. (A big no no in the past) This is not changing because we have had scripture interpreted better for us but because we have run out of men who fit the criteria. Not because we have advanced theologically but because of a digression morally.

Make an appointment to see the doctor?

2008-04-10T09:22:00.010-04:00

9Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, "Come along with me." Matthew stood up and followed him.

10-11Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?"

12-13Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders."

There is so much in these verses I don't know where to start. I will probably refer to these verses again at a later time to give them justice. I will focus on the company Jesus was keeping for now.

First let me say this. Matthew gives us a great example to follow. We try to "clean up" our friends before we tell them about Christ. We try to make them "church friendly". I have heard a song sung for invitation time and wonder if we mean it. The song tells us to come as we are. Do we really mean it? I sometimes get the impression what we really mean come just as you are as long as you are like me and don't carry too much baggage. Come as you are as long as you fit this stereotype.

Then Jesus says who needs a doctor? the sick or the healthy? Two points are to be made here. First the least painful for me is that Jesus came for those we write off. The drunk, the homeless, the criminal, the gay, insert your favorite group to be prejudice against. I am learning to accept this pretty easily. I have begun, (not perfected) to be able to see all people differently. I try to see them as Christ does and love them and value their life. The ones that I have the hardest time with are unfortunately those who label them selves as Christian but have no love. Sure they love their friends but don't cross them. If you do their inner demon is exposed.

That brings me to my second point. As I write this I think of people in my own church, my former church, and people in churches all over the world who are sick. I am not referring to physically sick and nor do I believe Jesus was. I am referring to those who have a diseased heart, a hardened heart. They have lost all ability to love. Christ came for them. He came to heal their hardened heart. Not only did he come for them but he came to heal those of us whose hearts have been wounded by putting to much faith and stock in religion and not our relationship with Him.

Christ came as the Great Physician but we have to make an appointment to talk to the doctor. As I write this I pray that we realize his purpose wasn't to sanction a religion but to save and heal humanity. He wasn't selfishly promoting an agenda but unselfishly giving up himself so all could be well. What are we doing? Are we here to help those who are hurting or to surround ourselves with those who make us comfortable?

Flattery will get you no where!

2008-04-09T08:10:00.000-04:00

“I can’t stand your religious meetings.
I’m fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I’m sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I’ve had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That’s what I want. That’s all I want.”

- Amos 5:21-24

The previous verses have been taken from The Message. A contemporary translation of the Bible.

These verses have been playing over and over in my head for the last two weeks. It is like that catchy song that once you hear it you can't forget it and find yourself singing it unintentionally. We read the Bible and try to place it in its historical setting but many times forget that it is just as relevant today as ever. I am quite honestly sick of the perversion that we have allowed to come int the church. We have not only allowed it to come into the church but we have embraced it and too many times taught it to our people.

We build our churches and spend millions on furnishings. Why? Because it pleases God? Because we are doing it to show how much he means to us? No because it justifies our materialistic lifestyles. If I am willing to support the church's desire to become commercial friendly than I can justify the 52" plasma screen television I buy. (note to reader I don't have the television but dream of it). We do not spend thousands of dollars on marketing to show Christ true concerns we spend it so we look better than the church a mile down the road. I believe we are more like the Israel we read about then we are willing to admit! Amos was trying to get across to the hard headed Jews that God could care less about their ritualistic feast and slogans and goals. Amos is telling us God could care less about our branding, the color of our sanctuary, or if we sit in chairs or pews. Some how these things seem to dominate the thoughts within our churches.

I find it sad but true that church has become a ritualistic form of worship for so many people on Sunday mornings. Just as Israel was practicing religion and not focusing on true worship so do we every Sunday morning. Lets face it how many times have we heard about the "anonymous" gift being given but know that the little old lady on the third row whose husband died two years ago faithfully gives all she can only to be overlooked. When we sing our songs do we sing him to God or so the people next to us can admire our voices? Do we even pay attention to the words? I find many times that when I actually think about the words I can't manage to get the words out because my throat swells up with a giant lump in order to fight the tears. You ask why fight them? Isn't that what we are taught to do? Sing the songs, go through the motions? We have a schedule to keep. If we experience revival in our churches we must do so by 11:45 so we can make it to lunch on time.

We ask where is God in times like this? How do we see God in this situation? I sometimes wonder if he isn't saying the same thing. Where are the Christians in all of this? Where are my followers in this situation?

Long overdue!

2008-04-08T00:13:00.005-04:00

It seems like forever since I have had time to write a little note. Life has been a blur lately. Last week was spring break for the family and it was a great week for all of us. I took a day off and went to Epcot again. They were having their Flower and Garden Festival. I tried to do my best not making everyone wait while I took countless pictures of flowers and crazy tourist. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and we took in a bunch of things we have always been in too much of a hurry to see.

It was a busy week because we also got a puppy. We got a teacup chihuahua. I know not the manliest dog but I am quite fond of her. I am looking forward to using her as a subject of my photography and who knows maybe you can purchase a calendar with her as the star someday!?!

Last Sunday I was allowed to do Children's Church. I know the thought of this makes most of you cringe but I love it. I can not wait until next time. I had already been able to get to know many of the kids. (I probably remember more of their names than the adults.) We had a really good time. I decided to do a lesson on the loaves and fishes miracle. I wanted them to see how important they are to the church and how they were so special to God that he used them in a huge way to perform this miracle. We had a really good time. During snack time I even taught them how to throw Ritz bits in the air and catch them in their mouths. (Sure that has been a hit with mom and dad.) This Sunday one of the boys came and sat with us during church. That made Sunday perfect.

I am in charge of VBS and have no idea what to expect. If it is anything like Sunday I can't wait. The week might be hectic and I may have a few sleepless nights worrying about making everything perfect but if I connect with one child all the problems will disappear.

Cancer Awareness!

2008-03-26T08:41:00.003-04:00

As we go through life we face difficult times and pray for change. We sometimes view life as diseased or sick. For the sake of this blog I am going to refer to these hard times as cancer for many times we have no cure for them. We are willing to try anything but many times it feels we are only prolonging the outcome as we become sicker and sicker. This cancer can come in many forms just as the real thing. It can be a minor form of skin cancer or a full blown inoperable tumor. It can be an annoying inconvenience or rob you of the joy and fullness of life.

There is hope however. We spend way to much energy trying to find the cure instead of turning to the Great Physician. I have had times (and will in the future)where this disease has crept into my life and felt overwhelmed. In the very recent past I have seen if we are patient and wise there is a cure. I have seen God cure the disease if we turn it over to him. We may have been quick to perform surgery to rid ourselves of the disease but God's plan was to take a more patient and noble approach and allow us to learn to depend on Him during our sickness. How rewarding that can be.

When our health is restored we feel the need to fall on our knees and rejoice! How great are your ways O Lord! Our patient is rewarded by removing this disease from us and restoring our health. The disease has ran its course and we are free!

Easter revisited!

2008-03-24T09:57:00.005-04:00

Well now that Easter is a day behind us it is time to step back and look at what went on in my ever evolving mind. Church was good. My wife and I decided at the last minute to relieve the nursery workers so they could attend services. Wow what a bunch of work that is. Do not ever take those people for granted. I was ready for a midday nap way before midday. It was great though to see all those children there. We had 3 times as many children as normal. What a blessing.

We hear the Easter story every year and almost become numb to it. We see the movie and the dramas, hear the Sunday school lesson and sermons but never really sit and reflect on it. Of course He died for you and I. We somehow find ourselves almost worthy or expecting it. After all in our self righteuosness we deserve it, don't we?
We look around and know there are others who deserve it much less than we do. This year I really tried to paint a different picture of Christ laying His life down for us. I tried to show His love for those we tend to hate so much. I thought about those beating Him to a bloody pulp before the cross and imagined Him hanging on the cross and wanting them to really understand. My nature is to seek revenge . We throw around phrases like I would take a bullet for my family or friends or I wish I could take their place. Let me ask you this, would you take a bullet for the person you hate the most? Would you take a bullet for the very person thatt threatens your existence? Then ask yourself if you would do this knowing that they would still reject you after laying your life down for them? As I try to imitate Christ more closely I struggle with the same things over and over again.

I can not fathom a love like this. I am learning to love but have so much more to learn. I try to see people as He sees me but still struggle with this. Sure I love but do I truly love everyone or do I pick and choose the ones that don't threaten my comfort zone?

Birthday Boy!

2008-03-22T22:21:00.005-04:00

What a day! Connor's birthday was today and we got him good. We had a surprise party for him at the bowling alley where some of his best friends were waiting on him They had a blast bowling and dancing. Someone gave Connor the crazy idea of bowling between his legs. He was actually really good at it. The boy got hooked up.

We then went to spend part of his loot where he finally was able to buy a hobby box. He had his usual run of good luck once again. Instead of getting the two autographs you are suppose to get he got three. His favorite was a Dominique Wilkins autograph with Acie Law IV and Josh Smith from the Hawks.

He thenwent to his favorite restaurant Lampu's Japanese Steakhouse. I can see him trying this when he is allowed to cook. He did get a little embarassed when they came along and sang to him but I think it was worth the free ice cream.

Life is Good! God is so good!

2008-03-20T08:35:00.004-04:00

I walk thru life thinking I have finally figured it out and then God smacks me in the face only to realize how little I have figured out. This is a good thing though. It is these slaps in the face that mature me, challenge me, and encourage me. I thank God for these moments. They push me to be more disciplined and to strive to have my heartbeat as one with my Lord. I sometimes wonder how many times I have ignored the guiding hand of the Father and how much further along I could be.

I know content is a dangerous place to be, but I am content. I am not content with my walk, but with my life. I am in a church who may not understand my way of thinking (sometimes I don't understand it), but the body has come around me and lifted me up and encouraged me tremendously. It is so nice they accept my leadership and understand I am being guided by the Holy Spirit - not a man. In return I want to encourage them to take their faith out of the four walls of the church.

I am encouraged by a professor that has started a new church. I see him renewed and alive. I pray the Lord blesses his efforts and brings people around him to lift him up and stand in the gap for him. Part of me longs to be there with him as he transforms the community and gives proper meaning to "church". However, for now I will wait.

My family sacrafices for me to work two jobs and go to school. They seem to enjoy the complicated lifestyle this has caused. Life and God are amazing!

Living the Life!

2008-03-16T20:12:00.005-04:00

Today was our (FOCUS Lockhart's College & Career and friends) second time to go visit the homeless of downtown. We had a great time. I think we are all a little nervous and/or anxious on the way. We are never quite sure how we will be greeted. We have all heard horror stories on how they are a bunch of drunks, greedy and out to rip you off, but we have yet to see that. We actually see quite the opposite. They are so kind and gracious. Everyone of them thanks us and just smiles. Instead of feeling like they are asking for more I leave there feeling like I should have done more. We were dissapointed in the small number of people we ran across today. I believe the heat and the antique car show pushed them into the air-conditioning of the library.

We always run into someone who has a story that sticks with us. This time it was a lady who I would guess to be in her mid-to-late forties. She told us how she came here to get a new start and had everything stolen from her. The part of her story I want to relate to us is she started telling us about how she got a sunburn on her forehead in the shape of a heart. She told us how God gave her this sunburn. We are quick to write her off as whatever! The sun must be getting to her. She told us this sunburn was because God was going to take care of her. We told her He would always take care of her and was looking out for her. The part I want you to pay attention to is that she brought up God, not us. My belief is she saw something different in us as we were giving away lunches and she was trying to find something in common with us. Our random act of kindness was a transparent view of what is in our hearts. When asked if we think we can make a difference my response will be "Don't ask us ask those to whom we have made a difference." Whether that be a homeless lady or within our own lives.

What a day!

2008-03-06T21:53:00.004-05:00

Today was one of those days. It seems that whenever everything begins to flow together turmoil is right around the corner. I was so pumped after last Wednesday night and everything at church was clicking then here comes this week. I couldn't FOCUS (how ironic since we are FOCUS) on my lesson. My mind was going over all the jargon I had been memorizing for my test. Sorry guys but I fall short too.

Then there is school. I fell like I did well on my test but for what?!? Big Deal I got an A. That used to be important to me, but now I feel like I am going through the motions to get a piece of paper. I want more than that. I want to be transformed by what I am learning, but I find the desire suppressed!

Then I get the news that my boss has screwed me over yet again. I bust my butt for her and she continues to allow people to suck her dry in return she screws me over. How I long to be in "full time" ministry. Yes I know it has its crappy days but at the end of the day I know I will finally feel satisfied. I long to be able to devote more time to my ministry. It could be so much more if I could only fully devote myself to it.

Restless!

2008-03-05T23:22:00.002-05:00

I have a big test tomorrow and can't seem to relax and go to bed. I feel unprepared but have put alot into studying. I stress about my grades and feel sometimes I am missing the point and just going through the motions so I can get the grade. I really wish we could be graded on how we are implementing these classes into our lives instead of how well we can memorize some stupid definition that we will never have to spit out again.

Worship

2008-02-28T10:36:00.005-05:00

Worship? What is it, what does it mean, how do we worship? Last night at church I feel we finally made a giant step forward. For the first time since I have been there everything went smoothly and people actually were connecting. I am so excited to see where God is taking us. I pray that we allow ourselves to find ways to worsip everyday. Why wait until Sunday or Wednesday to worship? Worship is a lifestyle.

As we walk through this thing we call life we can worship God in so many ways. Do you enjoy photography? That can be an act of worship. As you look through the lens of the camera and find beauty in the subject rather it be a person, nature or scenery realize God made it and thank him for it. Or maybe you are a writer, God has given you the ability to express your thought through pen and paper. He has created us to worship him and we must take the oppurtunities that he has placed in front of us.

Rollin' in the dough!

2008-02-26T22:00:00.002-05:00

We bought a bread machine yesterday. For years we have wanted one but fought the urge to be trendy. If I did the math correctly we should save about $.50 a loaf. I am not gonna retire off the savings but why not save a few bucks a year. So I made my first loaf of bread last night and it smelled amazing. Yankee Candle Company hasn't come close on capturing this scent. I have yet to try a peice but the family seemed to enjoy it. I am hoping to find a recipe exchange as I experiment with my new machine.

Good Times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-25T07:52:00.012-05:00

Friday night we decided to have our guys from church come over. What a blast! We used to do this all the time with our former church but this was the first time we have done this with the new guys. I hope they enjoyed the evening as much as I did. The food was great! (The cook was pretty hot too!) We had a ton of desserts (which believe it or not I resisted the temptation of eating any of them).

We watched a few brave souls make fools of themselves with the karaoke. Never seen a guy sing Material Girl with as much emotion as Adam. We all met a lot of new people and got reaquainted with some old friends. Next time we do this it will have to be bigger and better. I was really hoping to put up some pictures but they really didn't turn out that well. Just means we have to do it again.

I find it hard to work when the family is home!

2008-02-18T23:07:00.002-05:00

Being married to a school teacher is not the easiest thing in the world for me. My wife had the day off to celebrate Presidents' Day. I will be the first to say teachers deserve all the days off they get. Between the whiney kids, parents who don't realize their children are brats, and administration who have no clue they earn it. It just sucks when you have to go to work and you were enjoying just laying in bed watching mindless telivision. I never seem to get as much done on days like today!

Connor went with me to work today and we had a lot of fun. I had to do some work at a vet's office and he enjoyed playing with all the animals and snuck a peak at a surgery being performed(he gets that from mom). We then decided to go to a pet store where he exhibited his father's love for animals. He found a dog, cat, hamster, gerbil, fish and rabbit he wanted. He is trying to talk Mom into a hamster for Peyton. We found a princess cage and a wheel designed to look like a carriage. I have a feeling Peyton will he getting this for her birthday if "Babba" earns the cash.

Farmers Market

2008-02-16T23:47:00.008-05:00

Today we decided to hit the Farmers Market in Winter Park. In times past we did this because it was the cool place to go. Believe it or not I was able to purchase ostrich here on a prior visit(if you ever get the chance, try it, it is a very lean red meat). Today my purpose in going was to try to find healthier foods as well as to support the little guy. I have recently felt a responsibility to eat healthier as well as a need to be more enviromental. I also enjoy the thought of being able to help support an individual directly and promote independent business. I believe this was the first time my children have ever been. My daughter was more intrigued with all the dogs people were carrying around than the vendors. Connor was interested in all the free samples and obsessed with the thought of putting change on the train track and watching the train smash the quarter to twice its original size. (I should have never told him that story.)

We were able to find a booth selling hydroponic tomatoes that looked fake because they were so perfect. We cannot wait to slice these guys up and put them on some sandwiches and burgers. We got there kind of late so the pickings were kind of slim, but we also were able to aquire some "honeybell" oranges that were the best oranges I have ever had. There was so much to look at. There was even a booth selling catepillars and cocoons.

There were several vendors selling all sorts of foliage. I kept drifting toward the booths that were full of orchids but had good self-restraint and resisted the temptation. Not to mention I had just received an orchid for Valentines Day from my wife and another one the night before from a gas station. I am rather proud of the gas station find. It is huge and was only $10.

I decided to take my camera and didn't get any good pictures of the children but was able to get some interesting snapshots.

Love is in the air!

2008-02-13T15:16:00.010-05:00

Well the big day is here. Today is the day Hallmark has chosen for us to celebrate our love for each other. I am excited to spend the time with my beautiful wife and two children. I have been blessed by God to have the "perfect family"! I have a wife who supports me in my ministry efforts. This is no small feat because the longer I am in ministry the more I begin to understand how unsettling this can be. Many days you come home frustrated and defeated but it is nice to come home to a wife that encourages and supports you. I know Paul wrote that it is easier to stay single but without my wife I think I would have said forget it along time ago. So as we celebrate commercialized I love you day I am grateful to have her on any day and honored to celebrate our love today.

I was listening to a podcast today and according to the latest census the nuclear family is now a minority. All though it is just slightly it is a fact that the "model" family is becoming less and less the norm. This may not be a suprise to many but the effcts it has in our churches are more and more evident. First we see community being placed of higher importance in our churches that are experiencing growth. Rather it is our traditional churches or home groups or "emergent churches" community is playing a larger role than it did ten years ago. People want that family feeling and find comfort in community. Secondly we can no longer define our relationship with God the same way we used to. For example when we use the language of God the Father many people have a hard time grasping this concept because they have different ideas of a father. Watch the news for ten minutes and you will hear about fathers who have beat, molested, and abandonned their children. When they hear father those are the images that come to mind for many.

So on a day we celebrate love I encourage you to define love. The world has put its definition on love but what do we say it is. As we celebrate this day let our love not be limited to those in our family, or even our communities. What a difference we could make if we could learn to love everyone we come in contact and even intentionally making contact with people in order to show them love.

I delight in knowing that my traditional family is now considered dysfunctional. We live together with our children and decide and work on having a nurturing, loving, family enviroment. I will take my little house on the prarie family and cherish every moment with them.

Valentines Day

2008-02-13T09:58:00.000-05:00

As we get ready to celebrate Valentines day I look around at all the stores gearing up for yet another holiday driven by our greed and lack of creativity. As my children prepared the cards for their classmates I wonder if they even cared about this holiday or is it just another excuse to have a party. I understand that if we just stop celebrating now that alot of us guys would be sleeping on the couch but I am willing to bet the ladies would be happier with a gift that took thought. Our children watch us stress about the perfect gift and learn fom our example to be materialistic.

I wonder if we were to treat our spouses special everyday how much lower would the divorce rate be? I spent time making chocolate covered strawberrys and although they may not have been as fancy as the mall version that cost $3.00 each I bet they are equally as good. This year I am going to try to do something extra special and creative instead of falling into the trap of buying something for the sake of buying it.

A Day In The Park

2008-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:00

On Saturday Feb. 9th we went to Blue Springs State Park in Deland. It was a beautiful day out. This was the first time that we as a family had been able to do anything together in awhile. It was a day for us to get away and leave all the hectic parts of life at home. The park was amazing. We went on one of the cooler days of this winter. (I believe it stayed below 75 all day)

As usual I had to spend time trying to find unique picture oppurtunities while everyone else was bored. They were patient and tried to understand my need to see things through a different perspective. I was able to get a few shots that I really liked before Peyton decided she had enough of looking at leaves.

We walked from one end of the park to the other. Peyton has grown up so much. She no longer wants to be carried but wants to walk like the rest of us. This is exciting in some ways but on the 10 minute nature hike it took us an extra 30 minutes. Big brother loves the fact that she imitates him and likes to encourage her to do the same things he is doing. (no matter if they are right or wrong)
We explored an old house built in the late 1800's. Peyton made her self at home on the front porch. She loves rocking chairs. We monopolized the front porch and sat there enjoying the cool breeze and the view of the St. John's River.

Connor finds the whole world to be a playground. These are the things we have to look forward to him teaching his little sister .

It was a great day. I think we all needed a day to get away and relax from the fast paced world we get wrapped up in. We hope to have these getaways on a monthly basis. Oh yeah, Blue Springs is known for the manatees that migrate there in the winter, we saw a few but the highlight of our day was the time we spent together.

Thank God not all Christian men have been neutered!

2008-02-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

I have recently read various books and articles about how Christian men have lost their boldness and observed this phenom in local churches. We have down played a major aspect of the male psychi and asked them to be almost neutral in actions and language. The results are that men have lost their passion in life. We hear wives complain about how their husbands no longer have the same passion toward their marriage. Men are no longer the head of the house because they have been told to be passive. They have become so politically correct that they are no good. They are afraid to stand up for their beliefs because they "must turn the other cheek".

I want to first discuss the teaching of turning the other cheek. I do not see Christ as being politically correct or as being passive. Pacifist maybe but passive NOT! Let me suggest (and this is me suggesting this I am not saying this is God's view) that maybe, just maybe, we have missed a little in the turn the other cheek verse. Let's look at this through a literal slap in the face. When you turn the other cheek you are making the other party look at you directly in the eye . This takes the interpretation from a completely passive view to a bold, stand up for myself and willing to pay the price, move. Yet you are still not stooping to their level of foolishness. How much different would it be if we Christian men could embrace this idea?

I have seen good Godly men tuck their tail between their legs in order to avoid confrontation. They say they don't want to compromise their convictions but where has their conviction went to stand up for what is right, and noble?

In view of recent events in my life I am glad to say there are still Christian men that are intact. As men we need to embrace the boldness we are born with and encourage and support our brothers. Thank you for the bold men that have been examples to me and my son and may God bless your integrity wherever it takes you.

Church Conflict?

2008-02-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in a class on church conflict thinking about how unneccesary this class should be. I might be naive but if we as the church allow God to have his place in church we will stop getting in the way and starting conflict. I knew when I was called into ministry it would be a challenge but my eyes have been opened to whole new set of realities.
We have begun to go down the road of the pharisees and sadducees and added our opinion, our garbage that we feel is important. We have set up rules of order in our churches based on what we like that never take into consideration what the Bible says. I guess why bring the Bible into it if we can handle it. Somehow we have allowed our opinions to become the primary focus of church.
I recently attended a conference, Sustainable Faith, that really seemed to put things in a refreshing perspective. My impression was that they believe if it is not in the Bible it really isn't an issue. It appeared as an almost lets get to the root of things and get to what matters to God. We have (in the church) fought more about carpet colors, music style, and buildings then which social injustice we are going to collectively try to help. In one of the breakouts the point was brought up that the church is notorious for taking more resources than it is giving back. I really realized how the scales have been tilted.
I am at a point where I have begun to question things that I was taught were scriptural (i.e. death penalty, politics). This has been a great struggle for me. I have been firm in these beliefs and even defensive of them. I have been really researching the Biblical view on these and I am not here to persuade or even discuss them at this point but will say the conference was one of a couple of reaffirming moments in my quest for a Biblical view.

Jesus is found in the most unusual places

2008-02-04T22:46:00.000-05:00

On Sunday the 28th of January I went with a group of ten to hand out blankets on the streets of Orlando. We had no real game plan other than we wanted to love others like Christ loves us.

Before embarking on this mission we ran into all the stereotypical warnings. I want to address one of these warnings before I go any farther. I was told to cut the tags off the blankets so they couldn't be returned to buy "less than desirable items". These words have been ringing in my ears like a lowrider with a cheap stereo. Who in the heck am I to judge what they do with these blankets? Has God not blessed me in countless ways and yet I continue to waste and misuse his blessings? We are so quick to judge those we find fault with but walk around with a telephone pole in our eyes. Then we ask "why does the world judge us so harshly".

Now comes the point of my story. We meet all kinds of people. Young & old. All different colors. But what we did not meet were any that were rude. None that were ungrateful. They didn't judge us. We ran out of oranges way too early but they didn't get upset with us. (Unlike the line at church when we run out of coffee.) They were just thankful! I want to tell you the story about one young man. He appeared to be in his late twenties and carried a black backpack. I approached him with a blanket and a couple of oranges in my hand. I greeted him and offered him a blanket. He refused my blanket. He didn't want a larger one or a different color. He already had one. I tried to insist he take it but I had no luck. He explained he had a blanket in his bag and he would rather me be able to give it to someone who didn't have one. I was speechless. This man who could fit all of his belongings into a backpack refused my brand new blanket in order to make sure someone else could stay warm.How different is this from the world I live in. I have seen adults get in physical fights for the latest fad at Christmas time. I see people competing to get more stuff. You place free books on a table and grown men will gather as much as they can carry rather they will use them or not. Seen people wrestle each other to the ground over a free t-shirt. All of these people claim to be Christians. Yet a man with all of his belongings in a backpack gives up a blanket to ensure someone else will get one?We read in the Bible how if we have two shirts and see someone without we give them one of ours but I saw it. We read the Beattitudes and don't quite connect with them. When I say I found Jesus in an unusual place this is what I was referring to. We go to church and put on our shirt and tie looking for Jesus but we walk by Him every other day. I saw Luke 3:11 lived out in front of me. We see in Dueteronomy 15 we have a responsibility to help those in need. We pray for them and donate thru corporations to them but we are afraid to be with them. It's as if poverty is a deadly virus we might get if we come in contact with them. The only thing we are gonna catch is a glimpse of the kingdom of God.
My hopes are to do this again in the near future and allow this to become a part of my life. This is not some sort of experience to allow myself to feel better. This is a result growing in my relationship and understanding of Christ. Let me be known for the deeds I do not the labels we wear.

God is Love!

Just a thought!

The Return

"Words are THE Voice of the Heart" Confucius

3rd & Goal

Who Dat Nation!

Follow the Leader.

Super Villain

Super Massive Black Hole

Paperweights & Jewelry

Designer Baggage

A Bird Without Wings

Dreams

Intoxicated

The Rev?

Ready for a fight!

CHAOS

Wreaking Havoc!

On a roll...

Been a while...

Burdened

Life is short...sometimes too short!

Friday morning dump!

Dreams are meant to be reality

10:45 Experience Day 3

10:45 Experience Day 2

The Journey!

Feeling Good!

Organic & Alive-(or at least should be)

Inhale!

transparent

Paper God

Blinded by the unseen!

Who is worthy?

Been a while...

Thanksgiving

Silent Screams!

No worries!

And the winner is............

Election Eve!

Looking at life through stained glass windows.

What a weekend!

Dow drops and frankly I DON"T CARE!

It's gonna be a lovely day!

You know who you are!

Disturbed!

Free Gift!

WHY ME?

More questions than answers

Breaking News!

I Ruined Christmas!

Shiny red ball!

Just passing by!

Life of Christ!

Take the blame!!!

God is still love!

The Wait Is Over!

Mac

Long day!

Free Ride

I hate History!

Falling!

Beautiful Day!

Ouch!!!!!

What a week!

180

Taking a break!

Stronger Than Hell!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy life's Garbage!

Bittersweet Memories

On a roll!

Day Two!

VBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and my BIG mouth!

Few and Far Between!

What an AWESOME day!!!!!!!!!!!

Tough day!

The Outsiders

Sleepless in Apopka!

Make an appointment to see the doctor?

Flattery will get you no where!