Intoxicated

As I sit at my favorite table in my favorite coffee shop it is as if God cleared the room just for me. I appreciate that and needed it. I love coming hear to hear stories and make new friends but today it is empty. Completely empty. There have been a couple of to go orders but nothing like usual. Pretty sure it is God's subtle way of saying that I needed this break. I started doing some work but my mind just kept wandering away. I have several messages that need my time but nothing is coming from my efforts.

I sit here and detox. I have been stressed and confused lately. I have wanted some time to just escape but there were deadlines to meet, people to connect with, birthdays to celebrate, life to live. Until now...

I have told others in my life to go relax and breathe God in all while gasping for breath but today is my day. My time is short here today but rich with purpose. Having only 4 hours of sleep and feeling well rested is a blessing. I sip on my Mocha el Grande and breath in breathe from heaven. My focus has been restored. Not thinking about politics or procedures but focused on purpose and things that matter eternally. Having felt loved and able to love is intoxicating.

The emptiness now begins to be uncomfortable because I feel the need to share...the need to love...the need to fulfill my purpose. Having received encouragement it overflows from the depths of my soul searching for ways to be expressed.

Thankful for coffee, quiet, and the world being put on pause for a minute just for me!

The Rev?

A little over a week ago I was ordained. I am not going to go into all the theological details of ordination but instead would like to reflect on some of my memories of that night. It was an extremely special night for me. In case ordination is foreign to you, it is basically the local church body saying they recognize God's hand in your life.

I was so blessed to have so many friends there that night. Some of my wife's former and present students were there. I love these guys (and girls). Some of them are very involved in ministry themselves. I could talk to these guys for hours, and have. I cherish our friendships and look forward to the opportunities to serve together. Thanks guys for being there.

I was honored to have some current pastors who encourage me and presently speak into my life present. The Bartell's were there. Love these guys. There church is off "the trail" and they are tearing it up. They allow me to participate in different ministries they are a part of. They are really loving their neighbors. Westpoint was represented by Jim Collins and a video from Jason Dukes. These guys and this church family continues to inspire me. They have pushed me harder than anyone else in the last year. So blessed to be a part of these church families.

My principle from elementary school was their. He is a former pastor to whom I owe a lot to. During my routine trips to his office he saw something in me and invested a great deal of time in me. I remember in 5th grade sitting in his office going through EE training. Thanks Mr. Walton.

My 11th grade Sunday School teachers were there, later had them as young marrieds teachers too. Shared many a smile and many a tear with these guys. He even stayed awake. ;) Thanks for the time you invested in me.

My family was there. They have put up with me the longest. They have to listen to me dream on how to turn a city upside down and follow along with some of my crazy ideas. Thanks for all the support.

My new family. Lockhart. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of this amazing thing going on at the little church on the busy corner. Couldn't think of a better place to be.

Thankful for all the men who came down to pray over me. Even if you made me cry because you spoke of me like I was part of your family. You know who you are. I value the time I get to spend with your family.

RETRO- You guys are amazing!!!!!!!!!! I get to go on this crazy roller coaster of life with you all. Some of you are gonna turn this place upside down, inside out. I love watching you fall in love with following Jesus. You love those around you like Christ loves us. You are leaders. Keep going.

Most of all I want to say that I have the MOST AMAZING wife and kids. You put up with me hiding to study, dreaming big dreams, and always willing to put others first. Ya'll are amazing.

Jesus, Thanks for dying!

Ready for a fight!

I must confess. I got in a few fights in my younger years. Like most guys they were territorial disputes. I enjoy watching a hockey fight, baseball brawl, and even some of the MMA fights. For some weird reason I have always enjoyed professional wrestling. These are the images that first come to mind when we think about fights. We envision two people, usually powerful strong guys, exchanging blows until one gets the upper hand. We see professional wrestlers act this out in a choreographed routine making ballet dancers jealous with their ability to leap and jump with utmost precision.

There is a larger fight going on that we tend to overlook. We overlook it not because we are unaware of it. We see the casualties everyday. We see those who once followed Jesus walking away, burned out, tired, hurt, and alone. We see those who were once passionate about learning the ways of Jesus content with just living. We see people excited as they begin to realize what it means to follow Jesus only to decide the cost are too high. We see once stable marriages crash. We see families torn apart by what seems to be irrational behavior.

Last night I was thrown for somewhat of a surprise as I watched the spiritual battle unfold in front of my eyes and take on flesh. I am aware of the battle going on but this time I could see it develop and fleshed out in front of me. A new believer was worshipping as two of her friends began to heckle her. It continued to the point she broke. She had to leave the room in tears. The overprotective side of me wanted to shield her from this and say this never happens but the other side of me saw this as a growing point in her life. This battle goes on daily and we over look it. The urge is to give in to what feels natural. The desire to fight is not always there.

I hope we become aware of the battle going on around us.

CHAOS

Ever have one of those days that would fit into a Lifetime movie? You know the tear-jerker that is too good to be true. Today was one of those days to me. It started off like a typical Sunday for me. Waited to the last minute and then had to rush around in order to arrive at the church building on time. Needed to make a DVD for worship and couldn't concentrate on it. Needed to be doing two things at once but couldn't focus on one. Didn't get through half of the lesson. It was beautiful.Yes BEAUTIFUL! It drives me crazy but I have learned to love it.The chaos is controlled and has begun to represent growth. If it was the same 5 kids up there that were there two years ago I would have been able to multi-task much easier. With 23 people up there it gets a little crazy.

The beauty isn't in the lesson. It isn't in the music. It isn't in the occasional breakfast treats. Not even in the Starbuck's that someone occasionally brings in for me. (Although there is beauty and energy in that amazing cup). The beauty happens before i say a word. The beauty happens in what the outsider would perceive as controlled chaos. You see when we all sit around and talk over each other I sit there and absorb the conversations. I hear the people encouraging a brother/sister who is in an unhealthy relationship of need to look at the bigger picture. I hear the group offer support for the person having issues at home. I hear one person talk about how God revealed himself to her during the week. I hear about the person who befriended the person at their school who doesn't believe the same way they do. This is the beauty. Young people living a life outside of the four walls of our building. They are not waiting to be ministered to; they are being the ministers.

Tonight the girl who decided to follow Jesus wanted to tell everyone about it. Sunday night I am the one who gets to baptize her. I am so undeserving to be allowed the role I play in this. I get just as nervous now as I did when I baptized the first person. I still get the lump in my throat as I announce the newest member into the kingdom. It didn't stop with her though. We had a 24 year old young lady decide to follow Jesus today. What a day for the kingdom.

Wreaking Havoc!

What a night! I like to try to immerse myself into the story when I read a book. Imagine myself being part of the story, maybe not always as the super hero but at least on the sidelines watching everything unfold. Try to get in the mind of the author. Sometimes this takes a toll on me though because it becomes too personal. As the students and I walk through the sermon on the mount this has been the case more than once. From the beginning some of the verses are against my nature, peacemaker, sometimes I prefer to just hash the thing out and be done with it.

Tonight was the first night we had our prayer room set up. Pretty sure it was the uncool thing to do. We took the ping pong table down in order to have a place dedicated to prayer.

I have had a devotion that is due tomorrow for my Evangelism/Discipleship class and had everything ready.

Then tonight...Jesus showed up and turned everything upside down/inside out. Love how he does that. I grew up hearing that life was easy when you decided to follow Jesus. I was taught that Jesus was a lot like a magic potion. Pray and life would be OK. Leave your problems at the cross and everything would be easy. After all isn't that what Paul did. He followed Jesus and the thorn from his side was removed. Oh wait, God said NO. Possibly the greatest missionary of all time struggled. Why shouldn't we?

I refuse to teach about the magic potion Jesus. Tonight I was teaching from Matthew 6:1-5ish and recapped chapter 5. Talked about how this was not the norm. Jesus teaching were hard, challenging, and sometimes even disturbing. Then chapter 6 opens by saying don't do this so people can see you and think "Hey this dude has it figured out"; but do it secretly expecting n0thing as thanks. Talked about how hard it is to follow Jesus sometimes. It goes against what were do naturally. Pretty sure I wouldn't make it as a salesman trying to sell Jesus as a product. Felt like I was not running smooth tonight.

Having said this and all Glory to God, tonight I watched as Jesus did it again. Turned a young girls life upside down. He wreaked havoc in this ladies life. The uncool prayer room became holy. Instead of having a dedication ceremony we christened it with a girl deciding to follow in the ways of Jesus. I was asked to go in there and talk to a couple of young ladies and asked my wife to go for me. So thankful for that. She was able to share with the girl what it means to follow Jesus. I got to watch my wife walk out all choked up after experiencing this. Yea it would have been cool to be in there but its not about me and being able to bring one more person in to experience this was amazing.

Pretty sure what I was going to do for my devotion just got turned upside down, He did it again...

On a roll...

I would love to be able to post this often but I can come up with a million reasons why I won't but in reality it comes down to a lack of discipline. I really do enjoy writing and hope to become more disciplined over the year.

Haiti has been on my mind the last couple of days for obvious reasons. I can remember a time that I may have watched the news but never associated the people inside the TV as part of God's creation too. Now my heart breaks for the people there. I read a story of a teenage boy being shot in the head over some food (as we throw away our leftovers because we have excess). I heard a story of a pastor there filming as part of a documentary who had a Haitian pimp try to sell him a young teenage girl. He payed for an hour and bought her a lunch. I have mixed emotions about this because I am sickened he is there making a movie and taking up room that someone could be doing search and recovery. I also personally don't think I would have been able to turn her back over like a piece of property. I think that may

be one of those times I would have taken a bullet for a stranger. I was on a blog for a pastor who had been talking about the violence. I saw so called Christ followers talking about putting a bullet in people's heads, showing them what a beat down was, and how they understand how God had chosen Haiti for this plague. DISTURBING!

I later found myself on a website of a Mennonite pastor who told stories of Haitians working together to dig survivors out of rubble with only their hands. He told how they put their differences aside and worked together. He saw people sharing what food they had. Sharing tents, blankets, and clothing. We tend to hear less of this because it isn't as likely to make it into a movie.

Talking with some people this week they commented how the ordeal reminded them of a movie. They even talked about how it could be made into a movie. It will be. We will watch the very event that devastated a country, killed thousands, and crippled more for entertainment. We already watch rape, murder, racism, hate all in the name of entertainment. It pains me to think that we have taken a horrific crime like rape and put it on the big screen so much we are numb to it. We hear about it happening in real life and it barely effects us. Instead of leaving us shattered and moving us into action we flip the channel to American Idol or Lost never pausing to realize that was a child of God robbed. Never taking the time to even pray for healing. We put this crap into our heads under the umbrella of entertainment and nub ourselves so we do not have to feel the pain of the broken and hurt. The very people the Son of God came to heal.

I pray for and see a generation of people willing to change the world and fight for the injustice of the land instead of talking about how things should be or use to be. I see a people rising up willing to stand beside those who have been forgotten. I see a longing for the kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven! The only way this will ever come to be is by one crazy word that seems to turn things upside down every time it is executed in it's purest form. LOVE

Hopefully the two words that stand out on this page stand out together. When we love how we are suppose to it disturbs those around us...not like the car with the system that rattles your door disturbs you... but that it disturbs you to find out why and how can anyone love like that.

My prayer is we never become numb to the condition of people around us. My prayer is that it never again takes a catastrophic earthquake to make us pay attention to our neighbors living in poverty. That we realize it is our responsibility.

Been a while...

Hadn't realized it had been so long since I have been on here. My life has changed dramatically over the past couple of months once again. The company I work for has lost its major account which has trickled down to my family as a tremendous pay cut. My initial response was one of panic. My wife then slapped me (figuratively) and asked me who I was trusting to meet our needs? My employer or my Savior? It is real easy to answer until you are the one trying to figure out how 2+2 can equal 5. It can't with my employer paying me but with God he uses a different set of math rules. Trusting him to meet our needs and learning to cut where cuts can be made 2+2=5!

I have also found out you can really graduate from BCF Orlando extension. The end is near! I start school on Thursday and I am so excited for my classes this semester. Great classes and 3 professors I dearly love and respect. Knowing that I am already aware that I will be putting forth extra effort in those classes but still can't wait.

This last week we have all seen the pictures and video's of the earthquake in Haiti. My heart breaks for the people struggling to survive. I long to be there and pray that if the Lord calls me in that direction I am ready but until then I pray for the people. I encourage anybody that reads this to be aware of the condition people around the world live in and do what you can. You may think that there is not much you as an individual can do but when we all do together great things are done. There are these same stories of desperate people trying to survive in our own backyards. In our children's lessons yesterday I had a young girl express that she was afraid of Haitians moving into central Florida. She had been told that they would cause the crime rate to explode. My question is how much will the Haitian people be exploited in central Florida. How many will only find a job paying minimum wage, if they find a job, working much harder and longer than their supervisor's making 6 figures? How many will be shunned from our Sunday gatherings because they do not fit our image? How many will never hear the story of Jesus because they don't fit into our socio-economic groups? How many of us will even notice they our here as we live a life of isolation from anything that disturbs us? We hear the teachings of Jesus and wonder how they can fit into our lives instead of wondering how we can fit into His teachings!

Just a few quick thoughts on MLK day.