Paper God

I have been employed by the same company for close to 25 years. I have had other part time jobs during this time but always worked here at least part time. I have had no other full time job. It has definitely had its shares of ups and downs but it has always been there. The pay has been good, sometimes even great. I have been able to see things that some people only dream of and meet some influential people. For the last couple of years though I have enjoyed working less and less. Nothing has really changed there so I know that this change is coming from within. However, nothing was going to prepare me for this bombshell. I have been told my days are numbered working there. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with our consumer driven economy.

What am I going to do? I have a wife and two children I need to provide for. I have a mortgage and bills. The job market sucks so where can I find a job. I am still in school, how am I going to finish my degree? How could we sell our house fast? Do we really need a second car? My head was full of thoughts of despair and self pity. I lay sleepless at night praying that somehow we would make it through this.

Then all of a sudden the lights came on for me. I have told other people to trust Him, He is in control but it is easier said than done. When your monthly income will be cut in half that takes a lot of faith. I don't know what label you want to put on it, praying, meditating, quiet time, (not a big fan of trying to fit things in a box) but I felt overwhelmed. But this time I was not scared, but confident. It is said that faith is the evidence of things not seen, I cant see the future but I must have faith.

We talk a lot about having faith and trusting God but we usually stop there. We talk about it because it makes us feel good, we feel all spiritual talking about it but when the time comes we find our own methods. We have "needs" to be met so we meet them by working more hours, running up the credit card balance, or some other method. We pray that God will heal us all while preparing ourselves not to be healed.

I was becoming what I despise most. A Fake! I say I trust God and have faith in Him all while worrying myself sick. I believe in the paper god to meet my needs, provide for my needs but fail to put my faith in the God who loves me. During my time of coming to grips I realized God had called me to take a step in faith. I have been wanting to spend more time focusing on growing the young people I get to share life with and I really feel like God is giving this time to me. How are we gonna pay our bills? I don't know. But I don't have to. God figured it all out for me.

Am I scared? More than you could ever imagine but I think what is scarier is that I know this is coming from God. I was sharing this briefly with someone and they really put this in perspective for me when they said isn't even scarier that He would speak to me. Wow! The creator of life chooses to speak to us! Puts being faithful into a little better perspective.

Where is this going to take me? Right down the path God leads me. I am currently praying and trusting that this is happening to me to allow more time to love on people and be an example to them.

Listening and stepping out!