Burdened

We are currently walking through the sermon on the mount from Matthew 5 on Wednesday nights. We are only 12 verses in and I feel like I have had my but kicked. As I teach on this passage I examine my own life and feel like I am so far from where I want to be. I find my selfish desires getting in the way. I feel like there are so many changes that could be made.

I read stories of people who have put aside their selfish desires and hear how they are impacting their world; not in some third world country, but, right here in America. My throat wells up with this joy knowing they are doing it. I long to be impacting my world in such a way. I long to see the kingdom of heaven manifested here on earth. I long to love my neighbor in a way representative to the way Christ has loved me. I am weak though.

I wonder how different our lives would be if we were able to live out the teachings of Matthew 5 consistently. How would that impact our spheres of influence? We tend to spend time on/with what we value most. Think about that for a minute and then think about your schedule. I know we all work because we have bills but, why do we have so many bills?

As we imagine what Matthew 5 would look like lived out in America and 2009 some of us dream. Our dreams seem bizarre and out there. They seem extreme and outrageous. Maybe they aren't as out there as we would like to think. Maybe that is exactly what we need to do.

I am burdened to live out these verse on a daily basis. No matter how extreme or outrageous I may look, I long to do just that. I want to live an ordinary life making a radical statement about living a lifestyle sent from the Way!

Life is short...sometimes too short!

Most of us do not want to think of our own imortality but from time to time things come up and we find the very subject monopolizing our conscious thoughts.

We write wills. We talk about how we want our crap distributed. We plan elaborate ceremonies so people can come pay homage to the person that no longer is. We throw a granite marker to remind people if our existence.

What if we left our marker by loving like there is no tomorrow? What if we loved without fear of rejection? What if we lived life trying to love those society wrote off? We are afraid to love. When we love we become vunerable. When we become vunerable we may get hurt. It is at that point we really love. The very moment we experience pain is the moment we learn to love.

Love can do some amazing things. It will cause a man to give the shirt off his back. A woman will endure hours of pain in order to bring a new life into this world. Love causes us to do crazy things too.

The most amazing thing love has done was held a man to a tree. At anytime this man could have come down. But, because of the tremendous love he had he endured. He loved like there was no tomorrow.

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Friday morning dump!

I have not been on here near as much as I would like to. I have several posts sitting in drafts waiting to be finalized, but whether they ever make it is another story. I am really wanting to become more disciplined and a better steward of my time. I have all these ideas I want to make a reality, but can't seem to find the time to push forward on them.

I am thankful for the people I get to walk through life with. I get to hang out with the most inspirational teenagers I have ever met. They are truly amazing. From organizing a school-wide (public school) mission project to looking at the hard verses in scripture and asking what is God really saying in this verse? They challenge me as we walk together in this crazy thing we call life. As a student pastor I wish our gathering realized the role they could be playing in shaping our church body in the future. It is frustrating at times to see them and me written off as "the youth". There is so much talent amongst them. We have authors, interior decorators, singers, musicians, servants, teachers, encouragers, artist, photographers, you name it and it is probably represented within our group. But they are the "youth" group. I have been able to watch this group grow in their walk consistently. They have wisdom that only comes from walking in relationship with their Lord. I pray that no matter what lies ahead in their future that they will spur each other on to grow and chase after their relationship with Jesus. That they run after it with reckless abandonment. That they do not grow weary.

I am weary. I continue to pour out and constantly try to empty myself into the students and my family. I love that part. It is refreshing to know I have given all. I am weary from being drained. My job drains me daily. I try to do a job that honors Christ, but at times feel like I get taken advantage of. I am reminded of how Christ was taken advantage of and push forward. I try to serve two masters. Money and God. I have to work to pay the bills, but that takes away from the task that has been laid in front of me. I push forward sacrificing what I can. I am drained from constantly being on guard. I know that is Satan trying to disrupt what I am here to accomplish, but it wears on you. I try to be all things to all men/women, but realize that some people don't want that. I push forward. I am broken and beaten, but I push forward longing for the day when I can look back on this and see the Master plan.

I search for clarity and direction. I am humbled that God has called me for these tasks and even ask "Why me?" at times. I push forward still. How much easier would it be to run, but then I realize there is no place to run. God has put me here for His purpose so I continue to cling on and push forward.

Dreams are meant to be reality

I dream big. I don't mean the dreams that I have in my sleep. Not the dreams of having someone I didn't know give me the keys to their brand new Ferrari. The dreams of changing the world. The dreams of giving someone a new outlook on life. The dream that someday extreme poverty can come to an end. These aren't really dreams though. I think these are the passion to love others blooming within our own minds. I read a survey that if every person who claimed to follow Christ would give to charity world hunger would be cured. If Americans spent less at Christmas people around the entire globe could have clean drinking water. (As we dump the half bottle of lukewarm Voss (imported Norwegian water) down the drain). On the space station it cost $700 to filter enough urine into enough clean drinking water to fill a 16 oz. bottle. I was recently reminded that there are 3.5 million homeless people in America, nearly half of them are children.

I dream big. I dream that with a generation that cares more about doing and less about talking these things can be something my grandchildren can read about these things in their History books. My children can be a part of the solution. From buying responsibly to giving of time, the ways to contribute are endless. What if we decide to "need" less in order to give away more?

The only time we see a person walk away from Christ still searching was the man who wasn't willing to give up what he had. Have we walked away from the true message of scripture. The word purpose has become a buzz word among leadership in the last decade. The problem so many times is we were defining our purpose when it had been clearly defined for us 2000 years ago. Love others, love God. Maybe instead of trying to rewrite the purpose we should be trying to be creative and come up with as many ways we can to love others, and love God.

Loving is not just throwing money at a problem in order to disguise it. That would be equivalent to putting a band aid on an amputated arm. In order to love like Christ we must suffer like Christ, sacrifice like Christ. We were never told it would be easy. Never told it wouldn't have a price. Love came and conquered death. But it had to stare death in the face in order to do so. It had to be near.

DREAM BIG!

REACT BIGGER!

10:45 Experience Day 3

10:45 Experience Day 2

The Journey!

Well it is finally here! The first mission trip I have ever been on is also the first mission trip that I have ever planned. If you know me you know I am a let's go do it type of guy. So needless to say I was in shock when I realized how much paperwork there would be to do. But thanks to my amazing wife, paper work is done and everything organized. Enough about that stuff, let's get to the stuff that matters.

Our journey didn't start today. It started months ago when we, (I), felt God leading me to do something different. I had always gone to a summer camp, the church I am at has always done a summer camp. So that means we stick with tradition and do a summer camp, right? Not! Nothing against camps but lately I have been pulled into focusing on meeting the needs of others, loving people wherever they are, and serving the LOCAL community. In other words giving my life as a living sacrifice. Pretty sure the Bible says something about that. So the journey began.

Forget all the details on how we chose the trip and how we hooked up with the body of believers we are working with. Plain and simple, God did it. Camps are great. We go away for week and have this mountain top spiritual experience. We get off the bus and sprint to the top of the mountain and it feels so good. We are recharged! We get on the bus, come home and before we know it we have tripped and slid down that mountain as quick as we went up. Honestly it sucks! What a draining experience. That's where this trip was different from the beginning. We started preparing months ago. Every message I gave on Wednesday nights was pointing toward the trip. Unity, living life abundantly, love, encouragement, focus. I got this crazy idea that 30 days before the mission trip I would challenge myself to go "deeper" in my relationship with a loving Savior. Then I decided to bring everyone for the ride. Knowing it would be hard for any of us to finish it. Well I never knew how serious some of them would take it. I am pretty sure I had some parents ready to smack me when there kids gave up their cell phones for a week to focus on God. But through this whole journey I have seen friendships formed, and spiritual growth in so many of us. This wasn't a sprint to the top but a steady climb.

Day 1. We got off to a rainy start but the sun was shining when we got off the bus. The hotel was amazing and in a later post I will share how God was already preparing this place for us. We broke up into teams to get our job descriptions and started planning for Xtreme Nights. The skit practice went amazing. People were engaging with each other and not just within their circle of friends but with everyone.

Amazing start to an amazing week!

Feeling Good!

It was one of those weeks. You know the kind. You have enough to do to keep you busy for a month but a deadline to meet in a week. You feel like you can do nothing right. You have a line of people with some complaint. You crave a day off to relax but can't afford to put things aside long enough to get that time away

That was my week. I was up late working on numerous projects and getting less sleep each night it seemed. my body was tired and my mind was numb. I had been putting in extra hours at both of my jobs. There are days when it just doesn't seem worth it and I was having a couple of those in a row. I was behind quite a few paychecks at the one. Thankfully my wife has done an amazing job at juggling our bills and somehow kept everything up to date.

Something that hadn't happened in a while happened that weekend. My wife and I were able to go out on a date. Our son was invited to stay the night with some friends and the mother-in-law took our daughter shopping. We finally got to go out. We enjoyed every minute of it. It was a gift card date. Used gift cards for dinner and then used gift cards to see a movie. It was perfect. We laughed and joked the night away. We acted like teenagers going out by themselves for the first time.

We even got to go to the beach by ourselves on Saturday. I taught Laura how to catch fish. Really, barehanded. Ask her. She didn't even have to make mud pies that day. We caught crabs, the crustacean kind. The only drawback to the beach was we both got a little burnt. No big deal, we have shed and back to normal already. Then we were able to find "The Chattaway" for lunch. It is a little hole in the wall burger joint. I loved this place. I ate there for an emergent church conference I attended in 09. Somehow we found it and enjoyed a great meal.

Then it was back to reality, fun was over and back to the real world. I honestly was feeling a little, okay, a lot, beat up. I felt like a cage fighter in a handicap match. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of "good" things going on. We had 10 visitors in our youth gathering. Yes 10! It just seemed the bad was so bad in over shadowed everything else. Then I began to remember to focus on the things that matter. Love God, Love people. I had someone who was visiting tell me they wish their youth group was like ours. I had someone else tell me they wish their youth pastor cared as much about them as an individual. There was also an email sent about how much people loved our group. I am not saying any of this to receive thanks, or glory. I am saying all this to say one thing. Through life's crap God's love is still visible. Christ came to give us a more abundant life. Not an easy life with more stuff. Those people who shared in my life this week, Thank you for helping me see the abundance of life!

Ready for round two.

Organic & Alive-(or at least should be)

Organic and alive! The gathering we traditionally call church should be both of these but unfortunately more times than not it appears to be manufactured and dying! I am not bashing traditional church because I am a part of the establishment. I am not pointing out problems but rather trying to be a part of the solution. Do NOT take these words out of context or try to apply them to any specific "church" or situation. The very need for this disclaimer serves as proof of the church being manufactured.

Church is not the building we meet in! It is the body of Christ! Unfortunately the body of Christ is spilling blood everywhere walking around wounded missing limbs due to the amputation of limbs that didn't fit our mold, methods or idea of what they should be. I spoke on an abundant life. When asking people what abundant meant I got answers all over the place but the most prolific answer had to do with having enough stuff, or more than what we need. However, when asked if they felt they had an abundant life not one person said they felt fulfilled in their life. I spoke to a good friend who had looked back at the previous years of his life and said he didn't feel he was accomplishing much. I look back over my life and with all the ups and downs I certainly cant say I feel like I have had an abundant life. Good life, yes. Great life, yes. But I don't really know if I can say abundant. If abundant means overflowing than am I living life more abundantly?

This has absolutely nothing to do with stuff! The new iPhone 3Gs does not qualify as living more abundantly. The bass boat, new car, fancy shoes, or fat wallet do not constitute an abundant life. That is just stuff! If our good deeds are like filthy rags, (for fun do a word study on that) what does Christ think of our stuff, what does he think of our refusal to allow him to give us a more abundant life.

This past Saturday I was privileged to get up early on my day off to go attend a local gathering doing some ministry work. Guess what?, they were even from another denomination and didn't care I didn't have the same denominational i.d. card in my wallet. I say this tongue in cheek but in reality we allow our man made labels to do more harm to the kingdom then good many times. Our denominational prejudice do as much harm as racism did in the 50's. It was a ministry that provided QUALITY food, not the out of date beets in the back of the pantry, at a greatly reduced price. They have strict guidelines as to who can qualify for the food. Only one type of person can qualify for the food. You have to be breathing. Pretty strict huh? You don't have to fill out paperwork, join the church, or memorize the apostle's creed!

The beauty of this day was I saw the living, organic church. Not the building, as described by the pastor I was working with, their building was more suitable as a hunting lodge than a worship center. It was beautiful though. Don't ask me to describe the facilities and buildings because I couldn't. I can describe the face of every person I came in contact with though. I can tell you exactly what the church looked like. The young girl with the nose piercing who was up early on a Saturday morning to help make boxes with the radiant smile. The one that made me laugh as I was learning how to juggle food for three boxes at one time. The mom who brought her young boy down to help carry boxes to cars, the boy who was wanting to go to Full Sail to design video games. The young man who had repaired lawn mowers to GIVE away, blonde hair flat top. The middle aged gentleman and his wife who were in charge of putting next months order forms in the boxes. They reminded me of my wife and I with their sense of humor. The first couple that I met that day met us at the pick up sight. I had wanted to learn more about this ministry in hopes of getting the people we gather with involved in providing this for our neighbors. They showed me everything. EVERYTHING. I even got to unload the semi! I loved being able to get in their and be a part. The church was beautiful, organic, and alive.

Not every person that was helped that day will set foot in a service. Not every one will follow Christ but EVERY one saw the love of Christ. Every one saw the church alive! The goal wasn't to see how many converts they could record for the month. I flashback to the feeding of the 5,ooo. Jesus saw people and loved them. Loved them where they were, who they were and feed them. That is it.

I also can't help but to look back at the early church. You know the one that is talked about in the book of Acts. They came together and made sure none went without. They functioned as a body. Together. Where has that gone? It is still there, in each one of us, waiting to be unleashed.

The conversation on the way home was enlightening to say the least. Their gathering had decided to take Sunday nights off for the summer. I have mixed emotions about that because I LOVE our gathering on Sunday nights. Although I would love a night off every now and then. I would also love to do things outside of the box. I digress. They were asked "what are we going to do for church on Sunday nights?" The response "Be the church". When we walk out of the building we are still the church. Their men's ministry has begun to grow now that they no longer meet at the "church". They meet and get wings and play pool. Guy things. They get BBQ. Someday they might even take a page out of Jesus' playbook and meet by a lake and fish.

The church has left the building.

Thank you to anyone who made that Saturday so special to me. You know who you are and hopefully remember me as much as I remember you!

Inhale!

It has been a crazy month. Didn't realize it had been so long since I have updated but time flies when on the roller coaster of life. My last post was talking about living transparent and being faithful so this is a continuation of that. Since then my wife has found out she will have a job next year. God is faithful. She will be teaching more classes then normal and now also teaching high school. She may also receive a pay cut due to enrollment being down but none the less this job was a gift from God. It is hard to rejoice when some of her colleagues were less fortunate. I pray for them to depend on God for their needs and listen for his voice during this stressful time.

My job situation is still in limbo but God continues to provide. Through all the struggles and sleepless nights I have an indescribable peace knowing that I am right where he wants me and I don't have to be in control.

I have seen God speaking louder than I have ever before. I pray and expect answers but never really hold on waiting for an answer. I know He will answer but I go on many times not looking or waiting to see Him work in big ways. Things have been different lately. Almost scary different. I have been praying for a good friends parents who were hit by a car while crossing the street. My wife threw me a semi surprise birthday party an

d during the day I was burdened to pray for his mother. I felt guilty for celebrating life as he was watching his mother cling onto hers. As I was awaiting arrival of the guest I decided to read my emails. I hadn't had a chance to read them for the day. I was moved to tears as I read his update and saw she opened her eyes for the first time in two weeks. If I remember correctly she was also able to communicate with them.

Fast forward....They had been moved to separate rehab facilities and I began to put myself in his fathers shoes and praying that somehow he could get his dad over to his mom's center for a visit. I had no idea this was in the plans. I was on the 429 heading into Apopka to meet my wife. 10 minute drive the way I drive.(SSSHHHH!) I prayed that this would happen very soon. My intentions were to get to WalMart and text Jason and tell him I w

as praying for this visit to happen. I did not know he was already working on that. I pull into WalMart and my phone makes the beautiful iPhone ding letting me know I have an email. It was an update from Jason telling me his dad was going to see his mom the next day. WOW!!!! I text Jason to share with him my joy as I was overwhelmed. I know I am not the only one praying and it wasn't an answer for just me but it was powerful.

I say all this to simply say my God is faithful and powerful. He answers prayer. He loves us. He wants to hold us. So to continue to be transparent and wonder what next week will bring but I don't have to worry. It is nice to be set free and enjoy the roller coaster of life.

transparent

I try to live my life as transparent as possible but sometimes it is just too hard. It seems lately that when it rains it pours. As you may already know, my days of working where I have for the last twenty something years are numbered. I have been coming to grips with this and trying to rely on God to show me His plan through all of this.

I got horrible news this past Saturday that one of the most special people in my life was on his way to his parents hospital rooms due to an accident. My heart broke for him. In the short amount of time I have known him, he has challenged and pushed me to be a better person. He has showed my family tremendous amounts of love and influenced my son more than he will ever know. As he sits miles away from his wife and kids, praying for his parents care, I am left here feeling inadequate wishing I could do more.

Today the carpet was ripped out from under me. Due to the economy pretty much bottoming out my wife will be joining the ranks of victims of the poor economy. She will (unless things change drastically) be jobless. She was doing what she loved where she loved but that may be coming to an end. So now what? I don't know. I lay here writing this scared but still trusting. I was just telling someone tonight how can I question God? If he is big enough to create me isn't He big enough to take care of me.

Yes I am scared. Yes I am nervous, upset, angry but aren't all of these the emotions God gave us. That doesn't mean I am hopeless. Even through all the crap I still feel He is in control. That may be why I struggle so much with this. I like being in control. We say we surrender all to Christ but do we? I am trying to be thankful for all this because my prayer is to be able to live a life that is transparent. Transparent so people may see me struggle and worry but still see my hope lies in my Jesus. After all, in the end that is all we have.

Paper God

I have been employed by the same company for close to 25 years. I have had other part time jobs during this time but always worked here at least part time. I have had no other full time job. It has definitely had its shares of ups and downs but it has always been there. The pay has been good, sometimes even great. I have been able to see things that some people only dream of and meet some influential people. For the last couple of years though I have enjoyed working less and less. Nothing has really changed there so I know that this change is coming from within. However, nothing was going to prepare me for this bombshell. I have been told my days are numbered working there. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with our consumer driven economy.

What am I going to do? I have a wife and two children I need to provide for. I have a mortgage and bills. The job market sucks so where can I find a job. I am still in school, how am I going to finish my degree? How could we sell our house fast? Do we really need a second car? My head was full of thoughts of despair and self pity. I lay sleepless at night praying that somehow we would make it through this.

Then all of a sudden the lights came on for me. I have told other people to trust Him, He is in control but it is easier said than done. When your monthly income will be cut in half that takes a lot of faith. I don't know what label you want to put on it, praying, meditating, quiet time, (not a big fan of trying to fit things in a box) but I felt overwhelmed. But this time I was not scared, but confident. It is said that faith is the evidence of things not seen, I cant see the future but I must have faith.

We talk a lot about having faith and trusting God but we usually stop there. We talk about it because it makes us feel good, we feel all spiritual talking about it but when the time comes we find our own methods. We have "needs" to be met so we meet them by working more hours, running up the credit card balance, or some other method. We pray that God will heal us all while preparing ourselves not to be healed.

I was becoming what I despise most. A Fake! I say I trust God and have faith in Him all while worrying myself sick. I believe in the paper god to meet my needs, provide for my needs but fail to put my faith in the God who loves me. During my time of coming to grips I realized God had called me to take a step in faith. I have been wanting to spend more time focusing on growing the young people I get to share life with and I really feel like God is giving this time to me. How are we gonna pay our bills? I don't know. But I don't have to. God figured it all out for me.

Am I scared? More than you could ever imagine but I think what is scarier is that I know this is coming from God. I was sharing this briefly with someone and they really put this in perspective for me when they said isn't even scarier that He would speak to me. Wow! The creator of life chooses to speak to us! Puts being faithful into a little better perspective.

Where is this going to take me? Right down the path God leads me. I am currently praying and trusting that this is happening to me to allow more time to love on people and be an example to them.

Listening and stepping out!

Blinded by the unseen!

I find it amazing and disturbing how God works. God has taken me on a wild ride the last couple of years of my life. To say that it has been life changing would be an understatement! It has been humbling as well as exhilarating. I have cried tears of joy as well as tears from a broken heart. I have seen humanity at its kindest as well as the total disregard of a persons worth. I haven't had to leave the country and travel to a foreign land. This all has happened within a couple of miles from my house.

If you have spent anytime with me in the last couple of years you hopefully have realized by now that God has placed a burden on my heart to love . LOVE. Not judge, not fix, not feel sorry for, just to love them. Pretty basic right? NOT! We have a hard enough time showing the ones we love the most how we love them. How many times have we been impatient with a spouse or a friend? Love is patient. (Confession-I'm not always) Ever snap at someone you care about? Love is kind. God has been calling me to love in a sacrificial way not a superficial way. Disney makes love look so easy but that is a fairy tale not real life.

I had thought I had done a good job of loving but I was beginning to realize I loved when it was easy. When it was convenient. I thought I was doing a good job of loving those people I saw around me but I was blind. There were people all around me in pain that i had never seen before. I felt bad for people but never loved them. Praying wasn't enough anymore. Talking about it isn't enough. It was a call to action.

I no longer see people in the same way. I still see faces but I now see the hunger in their eyes. Not for food but for love. This isn't about helping the homeless or the poor, the single mom, or the widow. It is about loving everyone. Yes that is the homeless but it is also the lady tat takes your order at Froggers. It is also the church member who sits on the second row, the wealthy client who over tips you. We are in a world that is starving to be loved. Can you see it?

Who is worthy?

On Friday, January 9th I was working at a restaurant in downtown Apopka when a young lady approached me.  She introduced herself to me and explained how she was a missionary from Georgia. (the country not the home of the Bulldogs)  This did not surprise me because on another occasion that I was there I had a gentleman come up and introduce himself as a missionary for another Eastern European country.  I have heard how America has become one of the greatest countries for missionaries from overseas, even was in school with one for a semester or two.  But never thought I would run into one in Apopka.  Not once but twice.

God has impressed on my life the value of all human life.  He has really open my eyes up to what it means to love.  Because of this I was deeply disturbed by this chance meeting with a fellow believer.  I was actually busy for a change and was in the midst of moving some heavy equipment.  She came up to me to speak and I knew the routine.  That was not the part that bothered me.  It wasn't the fact that I had to stop what I was doing to have this conversation, I actually didn't mind taking a break.  It wasn't any part of our conversation.  It was the fact that as she hurried across the street she had a choice to make.  I was there working and there was another man sitting on the curb passing time.  She chose me.  Not a big deal right?  The part that was a big deal is after my conversation she went on never saying a word to this gentleman. 

 No one else was in the area but she walked pass him never even saying "Hi".  

He was homeless.  His clothes were wrinkled.  He had all of his earthly possessions on him.  Some how in our twisted view of the value of life we are attracted to the lives that most reflect ours.  I am not putting her down because she has the guts to go to a foreign country and share her faith boldly.  I just ask who de we go out of our way to talk to.  Those who look like us, listen to the same music as us, dress like us, make as much money as us?  We do the same thing day in and day out.

Jesus was homeless, even a fox has a den and birds their nest, He carried his belongings with Him, He didn't wear the fancy clothes.  Would we walk by Jesus if He were here today because we wouldn't find value in His appearance?  As we walk through life we determine the value of a persons worth.  What if God used the same standards we do?  Would Mary be the virgin mother?  Would the shepherds been the first to hear?  Would Paul have become the greatest missionary of all time?  How do I measure up?  Can I measure up?  

I am thankful that God sees us ALL as worthy!

Been a while...

My intentions were good but follow  through was lacking.  I envy those of you who post on a regular basis.  I never find the time or don't make it a priority to actually post.  I was hoping to have all of these stimulating blogs over the holidays encouraging us to remember Christmas as a time of celebrating relationships.  After all are we not celebrating the relationship of Christ with us?  Isn't it about Him coming to us to walk amongst us?  Unfortunately it has become a holiday to celebrate the consumerism and greed of the American way.  Just so I don't miss the opportunity check out this video.  

This Christmas was probably one of the best Christmas' for our family.  We got bogged down with all the normal junk.  Having to attend the obligatory parties and performances.  Fighting the traffic to get to the mall.  Not that we didn't enjoy some of these activities but many times we have to do these things out of obligation not a desire to spend time at the event.  This year we didn't wait for the grandparents to start opening the gifts.  This year we didn't take the traditional picture of the tree with all the gifts under it.  This year my wife and I didn't buy each other gifts.  I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for us or to take pity on us.  Our decision had nothing to do with finances or the economy.  It wasn't because we were having marital problems.  Quite the opposite.  We decided to focus on what was important to us and to use the time that we would have spent shopping with each other.  We didn't take a picture of the tree with the presents because what kind of message are we preserving for our children?  When we look at that picture would we remember it as the year we spent time with a mother whose son and father were working out of state a thousand miles from home? Or would they remember it as the year the presents over took the tree?  

As mentioned we took dinner to a friend who was home alone.  We went bowling!  Our son who is quickly growing up had a blast.  We laughed and played around.  We learned how to curve the ball.  Couldn't hit a pin but it sure looks cool.   We had cheap bowling alley pizza for dinner.  On the way home we didn't discuss how cool their toys were.  we talked about how much fun we had.  The thing I will always remember about Christmas '08 is on the way home that starry night is Connor telling us that it was his favorite Christmas because we spent time just playing together.  I think we may have accidently started a new tradition.