Super Massive Black Hole

I never realized how much I need people in my life. I enjoy being by myself sometimes. Always have had great people in and out of my life but never realized how valuable they are.

Can't believe it's been thirteen years. Thirteen years ago a Super Massive Black Hole was opened. Never realized the influence people have on you until you want to share dreams with them and you can't. I love dreaming. I don't really think they are dreams though. More like visions of what the future should be. Some of them scare me. Some of them excite me. None of them ever leave me. I miss the days of sharing them. I get to share them with my wife. She dreams with me but I miss sharing them with two people. I want to bring others along. They were suppose to be making these dreams a reality with me. Now I can't even talk to them. I know they are in a better place but that doesn't close the hole left behind. I'm not angry, just lonely. Not hurt, just jealous.

She will never hear me teach. She won't see me coach. She won't see my son shoot a three or block a shot. She won't see him change the world. She won't see Peyton dance. She will never hear her sing.

He was going into ministry with me. We were going to change the world. He could have coached my son. We would have started a church.

Now there is a hole where they were. Sometimes the dreams bring back memories. Sometimes they bring pain. Other times dissapointment. Wonder what it would have been like.

Tears of pain and joy cloud my vision but it's the brokeness that distracts from the dreams.


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Paperweights & Jewelry

As I prepare for what has become the most intimate of "religous holidays" for me I can't help but wonder what it was like that night 2000 years ago. What would it have been like to wake upon that Thursday morning? How many times have we heard "if today was your last day what would you do differently?" or "if you only had 24 hours left what would you do?". As I look through the accounts of Christ life I do not see Him trying to fill His bucket list. I don't see Him doing anything out of the ordinary.

I do not believe it is by accident that we do not find anything out of the ordinary on Christ last day. He did what He did everyday; pouring Himself out into the lives around Him. That evening he ate dinner with his 12 closest friends. We have managed to mess this picture up. It wasn't just a quick meal. It was a feast, a celebration.

Imagine the pain that Jesus felt as He sat their knowing this would be His last meal with His friends. How much easier would it have been for Jesus to shelter his friends from the upcoming ordeal?

That is what is so amazing about that night to me. Jesus came to be with humanity. He came to see, taste, touch, hear, and feel all the things we do. But, not only did He want to experience those things for us He wanted to do it with us. He brought along this odd pairing of friends for the ride of a lifetime. What if we were to do the same? What if we are meant to bring the people in our lives into our lives?




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