God is still love!

Tonight has been a heck of a night for me. As a minister there are some things I don't think I will ever be ready to handle. I am already an emotional guy. Actually, I am a big cry baby at times. For crying out loud, every time I hear "Here I Am To Worship" I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. So obviously there are some things that tear me apart.

My wife got the call that a former student who we became fairly close to and grew close to her parents was in a very serious car accident. I new what we needed to do but dreaded the very thought of it. Unfortunately I have had to deal with this before. I remember like yesterday getting the call about my best friend and his wife getting killed in a car accident. I remember all the emotions that flooded through me. I can remember being in Maitland when I got the call that Monica had fallen off a golf cart and was in ICU in bad shape. I remember walking right into ICU like I knew what I was doing in order to see her. I remember getting the call again that Monica was in a horrible accident again years later. This time God was calling her home. I remember looking at her as she lay their. So young and so much to live for. I remember asking Why God? God you have screwed up. I remember when I received the call that Dr. Stephens passed away. God what the heck are you doing? I still wonder but who do I think I am to question God. I can't even make a good cup of coffee and I am going to question God.

Tonight as Melissa clings to life, fighting to breath on her own I no longer question God I turn it all over to him. I don't know His ways, I don't see the big picture but I understand that I serve a powerful, loving, sovereign God. I pray yes for a miracle but I also pray for His will. I do not pray selfishly, but out of hope. I pray for the family to be Comforted.